You (Directly/Indirectly)

You were the one that with one glance of the eye could melt my world. Everything was perfect then. No arguments or fussing and fighting. Where did it go wrong?? When I didnt say goodmorning a certain way or when I didnt kiss you goodnight with a wet enough kiss?? You aren't barely speaking and the space between us is growing larger and larger, so large I can't take it anymore. So I have to take this time to go and be happy. I love you, but I can love you from afar. This is it! Goodbye...

Now I used that from my imagination as to what a lot of people in my generation seem to be afraid to say when they are "over" someone. Instead of just saying it was great but its time to part; they have to fight, scream, cuss and fuss. And God forbid the next man try and attempt to be with him. All hell breaks loose. Thats what confuses me, you dont want him, but he cant have him. HA! Foolishness,and if at any point you try and justify that thought you need to get help. Yeah you can love him/her, but let them go. And especially if you have moved on and are dating publicly.

Goodbye is not necessarily a bad thing when there is an amicable separation. The biggest part of it being amicable is being able to communicate the issues and problems that have come and made this the final decision. But it honestly this would not have happened if you were communicating earlier in the relationship. No you wanted that instant gratification of being in a "relationship", that you didnt even like him. You fell for the looks and not what was inside. And now you sit here dazed and confused trying to figure out what went wrong. It was wrong from the beginning.... just say Goodbye

peace

BagPeople

We all know that you have to look at the past to see where you're going, but a lot of you hold on to too much of what should've been dropped off. The first thing is people, people that have hurt you in some way and you continue to hold onto. 98% of the time the person you are holding onto the most has completely moved in with their lives. If they have hurt you, you must forgive (not foget) and move on for yourself. Once you have done this you will notice how your life changes...less stress, and worrying about them. Now there is another side of that aspect and that's love. I have to say that there is one person in my life that I cannot let go of because I am still in love with them. Now I do know that we cannot be with each other, but I still care about his well-being and happiness. Nor do let my love for him destroy other relationships. I have let him go, and wish him well. When you and lover part, let it go and move on and let that be a lesson that you learn from. But dont take a bad relationship with you to the next, and please dont treat the next person like its where you left off with the last. Another thing that is held on to is past altercations. If you have an argument with someone (lover, mother, sister, friend) and there is some conclusion to it. Leave it there! Dont keep bringing it up over and over in other arguments...get everything you need to say out and so that you both can move on. That is one of the biggest pet peeves of mine, is for someone to say they are over it, and as soon as they get the first chance they bring up the hold on! Get over it and let it go. Additional baggage and stress in your life..drop the bags!! Once these bags are dropped you will feel a sense of freedom and that nothing can hold you back! Be blessed!

Peace

The Me You Don't Know

So I asked around to see what people thought would be a good topic for my first post of my new blog "Thoughts of a Shady Mind", and I got an interesting response from a friend named Kris. He said "you should talk about your youth"; and initially this caught me off guard because I feel that I am still young. So I asked him what age range was he talking about. He said from about 9 to 17 and automatically I had so many thoughts run through my head. In that time (around 9-13) of my life so many things occurred that i can say starting the boiling water of who I am today. Believe it or not it was around ths time that I realized that I was homosexual and had a "strange" attraction to men, but it (the feeling) seemed so natural. Even after realizing that I was attracted to men, I told myself it was right and suppressed it for the next 3 to 4 years. My family had moved to NC when i turned 11 and it was completely different than what I had been accustomed to in DC, but nonetheless I was young and didn't really know any different. I played basketball, football, and ran track and boys were the last thing on my mind, hell girls were too lol....but I was young and was a "normal" boy. The life of homosexuality didn't re-enter my life until I turned 14 and returned to DC to attend Duke Ellington School of the Performing Arts. When I got here I was in utter shock of how "the life" was so open AND not to mention so accepted. In NC, it just wasnt talked about. Now dont get me wrong I did have a couple of episodes closer to this age, and I will refrain from using names, but I wasnt a stranger to it. I learned alot when I got to that school and I will never forget the person who opened their arms to me and showed me the ropes. His name is Will Ridley, I love him with all my heart and just want to thank him for showing me not to take bullshit from anyone. Although I was only at Duke for a year that was one of the longest most enjoyable years of my life..or so I thought (that's another later post). I then transferred to Potomac High in Oxon Hill, MD and here is where my reign began. Started off as a quiet non-speaking (yeah i didnt say a word lol) sophomore, but by the spring of 1997 I was in full blossom and everyone loved me. I was the one to watch out for, and new I had a special calling to entertain in some fashion. I met some great friends whom I still hang out with today, and some great times. Had my first full fledge gay relationship and came out to my family. Graduated high school and the fireball was lit, and there was and still is NO stopping me! Well more to come, dont be afraid to post comments and questions and will make sure I try my best to get to everyone!

Peace