LOVE2010

It seems to me like 2010 is the year for love. 2009...not so much! When that clock struck 12, I told my friends that I would have someone to call my own by my birthday; but I wasn't going to go look for it, it would have to present itself to me just like it would've last year. Coming out of a 4 year relationship I have found that I can see bullshit from a mile away; and not that I was running from love or a relationship, i just knew what I didn't want and stay out of its way.

There's an old saying that when you stop looking for something it appears right in front of you. Thats why I always tell people stop going out looking for a relationship, a man or woman, or love. Let it come to you! It will definitely happen when you're ready and you least expect it. It will also come in the form of something that you normally wouldn't expect it to come from. It will be from a happy place, just a place you wouldn't normally "look". I think that's what makes love so special. It's uninhibited, true, genuine, carefree, and stress is nowhere to be found.

But of course there is the flip side. Love doesnt come without the bad. But both parties have to be willing to strongly work towards the same goal. Get to know each other before falling in love, and there will be less work and more fun. In getting to know the other you'll find that there are things that irritate the hell out of you, but if this party gives you their all and you do the same you'll find that those bad things aren't really that important. Don't judge based on past experiences either. Stop saying "my ex did this so I'm scared", or "all boys are the same"! They are NOT! They may not be worth a damn.... lol (just kidding), but you cant compare two alike.

It again takes two, so you have to work for it as well. You have to be open and honest and give yourself more than you ever have. It will definitely feel uncomfortable at first, but like any habit continuously do it and it becomes more natural. This way he sees all of you and he can decide what he wants to do from there and vice versa. As grown adults, especially in the gay community, we need to step up and grow up and stop putting on the facades of what reality wants us to be. I never believe that two stereotypical gay men will last because they arent being themselves. Also, stop prejudging each other on how people act. I love to be the center of attention, so I may act one way out in public but may be the exact opposite in the privacy of my home with you (my spouse, date, bf, etc.). So just because I may vogue, walk runway, and snap my finger doesn't mean I want you to climb my back.

The love process is a long and sometimes thought provoking process but that definitely makes it all the while. Go in it for the long haul and the reward will be great! Let's make Love2010 the new motto...until next time

PEACE