When did it become so important in a relationship to worry and care about the other person so much that we totally forget about ourselves? When was it instilled in our heads that as long as the other person in this relationship is happy, we will someday get what WE actually want? Have we seen so many dysfunctional relationships that we don't know what reciprocity is anymore and dysfunction has become the norm?
Well personally I'm tired of dysfunction, and tired of seeing it surround my life when I see so many unhappy people in these relationships. I wonder if some of you actually spent time getting to know yourselves for 30 days doing whatever it is YOU want to and like to do without having someone persuade you otherwise, then after regrouping and writing down what it is you want someone to add to that, would you actually WANT to be with the person you are with now. I'm almost positive a good 70% of you would be single instantly. The reason being you have put yourself on the back burner thinking you had to do so to prove to your partner that you care.
I believe a lot of us forget that what we want in a relationship is just as important as the other person's wants and needs. If you place all of your opinions, thoughts, wants, desires and creative energies to the side, then so will your partner. A person will do anything and everything you allow them to. If they see they always get what they want, they will continue to disregard your feelings and it will always keep you unhappy.
What is it that you really want in a relationship? How can you enhance the life you're living with the person you are with? Write down what it is you want from your partner. Is the person you laying with giving you 80% of what's on that list? Hell, are they giving you 50%? I started with 80% because its impossible to find someone that will give you 100, and if you have that person, then you need to disclose the software application you programmed them with! I just want more people to really sit back and get to know themselves and what it is they want before divulging themselves into these relationships where they lose who they are, and then wake up one day and realize they are miserable.
Also remove the materialistic items from the list. If you go into something looking for material, how do you expect to have a real relationship with expectations of things of a shelf life of only a season? Be truly honest with yourself about who you are and what you want and others will have no choice but to step up to the plate or step away. Put out the respect you want to receive and it will have no other option but present itself to you. Also stop expecting what you want to be the visual image you've set forth in your mind. Your soul mate could be someone that has been in your past that you disregarded because they weren't physically what you would normally look for. So after writing your list, look back at those that have crossed your path that is that 80%. You'll probably be greatly surprised at who they were.
In the end, we have to make sure that we are in the forefront of the relationship just as much as the other person. Don't become a clone to their beliefs, thoughts, ideas and wants. They were attracted to you for you being you, you should stay that way. If you find yourself getting lost, pull out the map you drew for yourself and get back on the right track. Even if that means leaving them at the campground.
