Powers.

     Why is it that I can tell something has happened before someone has even told me? I am just blessed with powers that can foresee or is it that I have jut experienced so much bullshit in my 31 years that I can just dont expect anything but what is inevitable? When did I become so in tune with mannerisms that I see when a person changes the instant they do. These "powers" really have a double edged sword.
     The first side is that they really work in my advantage because I am able to see past a person's outer and really get intrigued by what they don't show. Pictures they say can have 1000 words, and words are often surface level thoughts that haven't been delved into. I like to get in a person's head and when I do that it's like the movie with Jennifer Lopez...I wanna go deeper and deeper until I'm in the core of their being. It's hard finding the person who will allow you in and be truly comfortable with showing you who they really are. I like to get there because when I do, I do things that make you happy and then you become aware of feelings you haven't experienced before. Once I'm in...I'm in.
     The opposite side of that power sword is that I have become very analytical when it comes to dating and getting to know someone. I have lost alot of the patience and forgiveness I once had. I am very straightforward in my dealings and don't hide things...because I feel if I'm interested I wanna give my all and expect the same in return. I can almost instantly tell when someone is changing. Funny that the lack of communication is the first thing I detect. The texts get shorter, the person becomes a bit busier with nothing in particular and the consistency dwindles. At the first sign, I'm ready to just forget the whole situation. Not a good thing. Am I too impatient? I have become so enthralled in what I want or what my expectations are that I don't give a person a chance to show me?
     Dating with powers is definitely something that is a work in progress for me. Like any superhuman you have to be able to control the powers stowed upon you and learn when and when not to use them. There aren't many of us out here and I think that's what makes so many relationships fly by night. I joke with my friends all the time about being the source of what powers people do have, and I say that because I know when someone is trying to use the powers they may have on me and it never works. When it comes to my heart I don't play and will automatically put up a shield if I think for a second you are trying to get me.
     So I have to learn to not to always have the shield up an let people in and then find the one who has the powers that help cultivate mine and experience the world of combined powers. The ultimately what we are superhumans looking for the power(s) that enhance and cultivate our own. There's one for all of us.

After Love at First Sight

     Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and fell in love? I know that sounds impossible but just sit back and think to yourself. I do mean figuratively tho, I don't think you actually fall in love; but I do feel that looking directly into another's eyes you do truly see that person for who they are.
I have always felt I can really see a person's true self but I experienced a different level of that last night that really caught me off guard. To the point that I wanted to never stop looking at them but also too shy to really look because I found myself realizing how I felt towards that person. Yes that giddy little girl smile and look away feeling lol. Then the thoughts started running.
     "Where do we go from here?" "Could this be what you've been looking for?" "How does he feel about me?" "Should I tell him how I feel?" "What if he is seeing someone?" "What if he rejects your feelings?" "Why are u thinking so much?" Yeah those thoughts. Interesting enough he wanted to know those thoughts, and at the exact moment.
     If you've kept up with me you know I'm extremely big on communication from the beginning of any relationship so I expressed SOME of the thoughts, and God that was the most embarrassing thing I've done in a while but it felt good. That kind of good where you blow out a breathe of relief when you're out of their sight.
     But the question remains where DO we go from here. I think this is where people go wrong...don't worry about that. Just continue to be consistent and allow life to unfold. Don't put expectations or thoughts about the future into play when it's only "day 2". You have to remember that nothing but a crazy stroke of luck or miracle changes things in a matter of 24 hours. Take your time and continue to do what you were doing before so that it happens naturally. You didn't wake up that day and decide that this person would intrigue/interest you, it just happened. So don't try and wake up today and decide that this is the person you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. If it's meant to be that way it will be. Enjoy the time spent together and be yourself and continue to do all the things that you feel require to get to where you want to be with that person. As long as the communication and honesty continue to thrive between the two of you; I doubt you all have no where to go but up.