The Doors of Life and Love

Have you ever noticed that when you are finally over something that wasnt good for you, that something that makes you extremely happy just so happens to appear?? I realized that the old cliche "when one door closes another opens" is true and I think I'm experiencing it.

I was holding on to something that had already let my hand go. Alot of my posts coincide with each other, and I was living in a world of denial, hoping that what I wanted to happen would even in the back of subconscious mind knew that it wouldnt. We as humans do this alot when we "love" or are "in love" with a person, object, or cause. We think that we can't love if we arent with or still attached to something. FALSE!!! Sometimes you find that your love will grow when you are apart from whatever it is because you come to appreciate it more. I always say that loving something from afar doesnt mean you dont love it, you just dont love it right in your face. Hence, I think that's where the saying "no love lost" came from.

But anyway, I closed the door to denial and the door of what I wanted opened. I was so busy allowing what I didnt want to come into my life that what I wanted had to wait outside until i realized that my atmosphere was getting suffocating. Here it was, what I've could potentially be looking for all along is right here, and because I was holding to the handle of this door to keep it open when in reality the door was trying to slam shut. Well no more holding onto doors that dont wanna stay open. Think about it this way, say you have a guest in your home that is ready to leave. Why on Earth are you gonna keep that person hostage?? They're eating up your food, sucking up your air, and using up all your hot water; while in the meantime the guest that will help you bring food in the house, take the pet out for a walk, and cook you a meal when you get home from work is standing on the other side of the door. Let the foolishness, go and let a stress-free life in.

It has taken me quite a while to realize that I have to stop looking for what I want and let it present itself to me; but that theory has a double edged sword. You have to be careful in what exactly is presenting itself. I thought the last door I was entering was a new space only to find out that it was a space filled with dirt under rugs and the same ole rooms and previous spaces I've visited. I got so caught in the decor that I didnt see that it was just a different room in the same haunted house I've been haunted by. I now walk around and look under cushions, rugs, table mats, and behind curtains. No more walking into a house and only looking at the appearance of the decor.

I have closed the door to loneliness, to have a door of the possibility of companionship to open. I have closed the door of wondering, to have a door of clear sight to open. I have closed the door of endless hoping, to have a door of endless possibilities to open. There will be no more wishing and hoping for something that I know deep down will not be. It only needs to living a life of closed doors that should be open and you having free range of entering and exiting whenever you please. This is my house and I want all my doors that should be open to be open and I have free range of which rooms I want to go in.

Have you closed a door today to have another one open???

Relationship Immaturity.....

Maturity is defined as the state of being fully developed. Now what leads up to maturity is my question... Is it the experiences or things taught to you that make you mature?? Is it what your friends and family tell you what you should or shouldn't do?? What you read in books? Honestly its all these things, without it you would still be in the mindset of a 2 year old toddler.

I feel this goes for relationships as well, people need to be mature in handling situations of a relationship. There are a lot of people out here who wanna be in relationships that are relationally immature, and from that they either break a lot of hearts or continually get their heart broken. These "heartbreakers" I feel are the ones that are the most immature because they are dealing with a lot of fear. Fear is something that comes from a lot of unknown or uncertainty of the future. Now granted beng unsure of what's to come happens to us all, I guess I'm just more adventurous and am willing to step into the unknown and see what happens. "Heartbreakers" get to a certain point, reach the unknown and wanna run. Therefore leading to the second person...."the brokenhearted". These are the individuals (like myself) are open and communicative, show and tell everything that they feel and wear their hearts on their sleeve. These people are immature in taking the lessons learned and using them to their advantage or personal growth. Thus falling into the same thing over and over.

A major step in becoming mature enough for relationships is communication. Both parties learn so much from each other (good and bad) through speaking what's on your mind. People are afraid to say what's on their minds for two reasons....either they don't know how to convey they feelings which leads to misleading thoughts (one of my past posts) and strain on the relationship. The other reason would be they don't wanna stir up emotions whether good or bad. Neither of these approaches work in a relationship because one of the parties is unaware of the others feeling so then neither person can really give 100%. Say how you feel, come to a compromise and really do what is said because as the old cliche goes.... Actions speak louder than words.

I spoke about compromise in the first step, compromise is listening and coming to a common ground that will not only be good for both parties, but will help the relationship grow. In compromising both parties have to be willing to sacrifice something. Sacrificial decisions are often hard because you give up something that you have come accustomed to when by yourself, but when someone else is now in this with you that things has to become something secondary. It was brought to my attention by a friend that Carrie (Sex and the City) gave up smoking for Aiden. That was a sacrificial decision. Sacrificing does NOT mean losing yourself, but altering decisions you make for the betterment of your relationship. Sacrificing and compromising go hand in hand.

Being relationship mature doesn't come overnite and there will be many challenges along the way. But being relationship immaturity is draining and doesn't get anywhere. If you care for someone tell them....if you want to be with someone, be with them and take it day by day. Its a learning experience don't rush and be open to everything that you learn. Don't be afraid to love, love hard and love whole-heartedly, and let it take you to places you've never been. Grow and be mature and you will find love will return the favor.