"When the Time is Right"

Have you ever felt that any relationship you've encountered doesnt work out?? I dont just mean sexual or dating..I'm talking about ALL relationships....

I wanna dedicate this post to how I feel about that situation. There comes a time in your life when a little part of feels like you just dont wanna be bothered. This is more than a gut feeling, this is a higher being telling you "the timing isn't right"! And Lord this being is correct. You cannot start a new endeavor, relationship, friendship or hobby if you aren't completely done with another. Instant gratification does NOT lead to long term happiness. Happiness is something that takes steps and is a process that has to be followed. Instant gratification doesn't lead to fulfillment in life. Instant gratification doesn't lead to prosperity. Instant gratification only leads to heartache, drama, and loss of lack of self respect.

Self respect is something that somehow over the years gone down the drain. You cannot love the next person if you cant look in the mirror and see greatness in yourself. Love has to be exuded from within in order for the outside world to see. Have you ever known someone with low self confidence to have a happy and prosperous relationship whether love or friendship? Most of you said NO, because no one wants to be around someone who doesnt see themselves fit to be around other people. No one wants to be around a "party pooper". Start looking at yourself as a treasure that someone is ready to open and enjoy the perks. Monetary perks arent always the best if you dont have someone to share them with.

The steps to happiness are many and dont come easy, and the skills that are needed to proceed to the next step are open mindedness, trust, communication and just an open ear and heart to something new. Stop treating all new relationships like past ones. This is a new experience, so treat it as such. Have fun and let whatever may come come... but first be ready for it! In being ready you have to make sure that all thing that make you happy are in order. Career, home, self happiness, confidence, goals and aspirations, and the willingness to love. If these things arent together...."the time isn't right". Your inner being will definitely let you know when the time is right. You will always be happy, things will be less stressful and you will have a sense of everything falling into place. And when those stars are aligned, that higher power will say "this time is right and now here is our reward". Love is a reward for you doing what you are supposed to do for yourself first, and is a great reward when can be fully enjoyed.

So in closing my thoughts on timing are.... take your time and stop looking for love and let it reveal itself, when you are supposed to experience all that love has to offer it will be a great reward, get yourself together before trying to give all to the next person, and time tells all....the higher being will know "When the Time is Right"

LOVE2010

It seems to me like 2010 is the year for love. 2009...not so much! When that clock struck 12, I told my friends that I would have someone to call my own by my birthday; but I wasn't going to go look for it, it would have to present itself to me just like it would've last year. Coming out of a 4 year relationship I have found that I can see bullshit from a mile away; and not that I was running from love or a relationship, i just knew what I didn't want and stay out of its way.

There's an old saying that when you stop looking for something it appears right in front of you. Thats why I always tell people stop going out looking for a relationship, a man or woman, or love. Let it come to you! It will definitely happen when you're ready and you least expect it. It will also come in the form of something that you normally wouldn't expect it to come from. It will be from a happy place, just a place you wouldn't normally "look". I think that's what makes love so special. It's uninhibited, true, genuine, carefree, and stress is nowhere to be found.

But of course there is the flip side. Love doesnt come without the bad. But both parties have to be willing to strongly work towards the same goal. Get to know each other before falling in love, and there will be less work and more fun. In getting to know the other you'll find that there are things that irritate the hell out of you, but if this party gives you their all and you do the same you'll find that those bad things aren't really that important. Don't judge based on past experiences either. Stop saying "my ex did this so I'm scared", or "all boys are the same"! They are NOT! They may not be worth a damn.... lol (just kidding), but you cant compare two alike.

It again takes two, so you have to work for it as well. You have to be open and honest and give yourself more than you ever have. It will definitely feel uncomfortable at first, but like any habit continuously do it and it becomes more natural. This way he sees all of you and he can decide what he wants to do from there and vice versa. As grown adults, especially in the gay community, we need to step up and grow up and stop putting on the facades of what reality wants us to be. I never believe that two stereotypical gay men will last because they arent being themselves. Also, stop prejudging each other on how people act. I love to be the center of attention, so I may act one way out in public but may be the exact opposite in the privacy of my home with you (my spouse, date, bf, etc.). So just because I may vogue, walk runway, and snap my finger doesn't mean I want you to climb my back.

The love process is a long and sometimes thought provoking process but that definitely makes it all the while. Go in it for the long haul and the reward will be great! Let's make Love2010 the new motto...until next time

PEACE

Mistaken Thoughts

Have you ever been into someone so much you have mistaken thoughts?? Mistaken thoughts are those thoughts that something is wrong. Often times these thoughts come from wanting to talk to someone so bad and when you dont, you think they are upset or over you. Most of the time its just your yearning for them thats taking over the good thoughts. Stop right there! Just let it be... dont press an issue that isnt really there because then it causes problems. Especially if there is no title...you arent necessarily entitled to speak to them when YOU want. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is not just a cliche thought, but is something that is very true. Just look at the situation...again you need to miss them so you dont get over them from seeing them so much. Fight through that yearning and when you get to talk to, see, or touch that person it will be sooooo much better and you'll find that those moments are endless. Dont take those feelings as fear as something is wrong...Mistaken Thoughts! Mistaken thoughts can also be thoughts in which you arent supposed to feel the way you do about someone. This can have many examples, but the one that sticks out in my mind is being attracted to someone who your technically forbidden to feel that way for i.e. your friend's "date" or "crush". I have to say that their are couple of my friends that are either in relationship or have a crush on someone and I want them. Mistake thoughts run through my head like "he should like me" or "thats doin shows you arent even supposed to be with talking to him". I shouldn't feel that way I should be happy, but guess what... that's LIFE. Sometimes you have to look from the outside perspective and you'll realize somethings aren't meant to be for a reason. A reason you will realize when the time is right. Dont try to force something that shouldn't be. You cant put to positive ends of a magnet together, so dont try to put to negative personalities togehter. It doesn't work out!!

So basically to sum this up, let those Mistaken Thoughts go and dont let them cloud your mind, and cause issues that dont even need to be. Be open minded and let things be how they are supposed to be.

Peace