Convenience Store Love

I don’t know about you, but I have encountered so many relationships recently that are purely out of convenience. Now I know you’re wondering “Shade what the hell you talking bout??” Have you looked at someone’s relationship and thought to yourself that only one person seems to be the benefactor from the relationship?? That’s what I call a “convenience store” relationship. Come in when you need something, do what you need to do get to what you need and go back to your normal routine until something else runs out. Now these are the common products like tissue, bread or milk. I’m talking about sex, that pep talk, a hug, that arm piece when you all go out, or someone just to say “that’s my man”. But like I said I see so many of these and 9 times out of 10, the person on the short end of the stick either knows and pays it (cuz they “love” them) or can’t see the bright end of the tunnel. Well time for me to open your eyes, because apparently the people around you aren’t saying anything.

If you are in a relationship and your partner only seems to be communicating when the going is good or when they need that great pep talk that you seem to always give, but the minute you are upset or need what you give they disappear or seem to be oblivious to what you are going thru… HINT #1 of a “convenience store” relationship. If you always go out and seem to be the one paying for everything because “they just don’t have it”… HINT #2 of a “convenience store” relationship. If they can always make time to do what they want to do and leave you behind when its time to do something you love or just want to experience with them… HINT #3 of your “convenience store” relationship. That’s only 3 of the many things I can come up with to show you what I’m talking about and some that I am missing, but you should catch my drift. You aren’t that dumb! At least I hope not, but you have to open your eyes to what’s happening and realize that you are being taken advantage of. Yes, your kindness is no longer a weakness…you are the victim of a selfish partner. So now that you know, what are you gonna do about. I hope you’re going to realize that it has to stop and if you don’t start getting exactly what you are giving, someone needs to evacuate the premises.

I could never sit around and let someone take advantage of me because I’m “scared of lonely”. Hell you already by yourself you might as well do it without the title of a relationship. Convenience store relationships have so many other sides of them that are overlooked. The “shopper” (for cases and purpose) may be unhappy and doesn’t know how to leave the relationship, don’t care how you feel and because you allow they continue to do so, or lastly they’re hiding something!! The biggest things they are hiding are insecurities that they don’t have to show when they are around you, because you enable them to hide it with all of what you provide for them. Yes, I do feel you are at fault somewhat because not only does it take two, but because you are allowing yourself to sometimes see it and would rather allow it than change it or move on.

Now for the “shopper”, you all are just sad! You are so selfish that you don’t even care what happens half of the time. You are getting what you want and only giving what you can spend at the time. You don’t put in the effort to maintain the store. You don’t put in the overtime to make sure that the entrepreneur (and I call them that because they are in this relationship by themselves) has what they need to grow in the relationship. Stop shopping and become and partner in this business. Stop only looking in the mirror at what you get to benefit and start looking at what’s going on the rest of the store. You’re not gonna be happy until a robber comes in and takes the store from you and then you gonna have nowhere to shop. See crooks are always staking the store. They check your pattern of when you need items, when you shop for milk and bread… and when you leave they walk in and take it all. All I’m saying is that you aren’t being a great partner in this, and you need to remember what you wont do…another shopper or crook will.


It’s time for a lot of you that are in these “convenience store” relationships to grow up and turn these into “corporations”. Why not want the world and to have someone to share it with??

Crossroads (unintentional neglect)

It has been brought to my attention that I have been neglecting something with even knowing that was what i was doing. Now this unintentional neglect can be a deafening silence in any relationship. Words arent spoken and feelings get pushed back because of some the feeling of being scared to hurt. In avoiding this feeling, you may inturn being hurting the other person more because they arent getting what they are giving and then feeling unappreciated and resentment start to set in. Lets start at the beginning....

In starting to get to know someone there are different stages in which two people go through. The first stage is the realization that there is an attraction. The two of you go thru small gestures of jokes passed, flirting, and the beginning of "small talk". The next stage is infatuation, where you wanna see, be near, spend time with, and get to know the small fun stuff about a person. Then the next step is the crossroads....here's where it tricky. At most crossroads there are three ways a person or two people can decide to go, but the two being on the same page is the most important part; and both must be willing to take the same road. But if one of the persons isnt where the other is theres a place of stagnant and stale air and most likely boredom that develops. I am on the end of where I dont know which road to take because I have been neglectful of the small things that are so so important. Initiative goes a long way, and I have learned the hard that you must not only tell a person how you feel, but you have to make sure that your actions are at the same level. You cannot expect a person to always do while you sit back and hope and wonder. That is my fall back, scared of hurt and rejection. I've said this before and I will say again.... Having a titanium wall up protecting your heart can be actually hurting the other person and you not even knowing then resulting in a relationship that could go amazing go wrong, dont be afraid to hurt because there are 1000 smiles after that will help you learn from that. Take a step in a different less traveled direction and you just may end up where you wanted to in the beginning. You must be open minded and have a open heart that so all communication lines are open. I sometimes feel people (majority men) have a hard time expressing how they feel because they dont wanna hurt someone's feelings or they dont know how they themselves are gonna feel about it. I think I have developed thick skin and can take alot, but i cannot and shouldnt have to deal with non-communication. As much as I joke about having #powers, I nor do I think anyone else has the power of reading minds. Therefore speak your mind and let others deal with the information they have just received.

Back to the crossroad....If you have been neglectful unintentionally, turn it around by taking a step in showing that you are sincerely apologetic and want to make up for the actions or lack thereof. Take it day by day because the hurt doesnt go away immediately but you both have to open enough to put it behind you and move forward. A relationship that comes from communication, openness, trust and alot of work will make it because the two of you will be on the same page consistently. You wont always be on the same page, no two people are but finding your way back can be hard but benenficial in life and relationship learnings.

I leave you by saying this, take your time and really think on both sides of the fence. Your side may or may not be the best and thats why its sometimes to go to another yard and see how things are planted, you may find that your plants need each other to coincide.

Peace