Had a conversation with an associate last night about newly into relationships and why people feel they have to lie about their past when going into something new with someone. I feel people lie to themselves and judge themselves on past experiences because they have looked back on them and realized that what they feel they wanted at the that time wasn't exactly what they wanted at all. Now if a person judges themself, they automatically feel the world and the person they are in this new situation with are judging them as well; when in fact, no one is really paying that much attention to all of that. We put more emphasis on our own past then the people surrounding us.
Lets dive a little more into this matter and look at how this becomes a cycle of lies and false pretences. A person feels that they always have to be this perfect person when going into something new. A person that isn't who they really are because we all know that no one is perfect. We all have a past and we have all done things that we aren't so proud of. Any person who doesn't understand that really shouldn't be looking to be involved until they have come to grips with what they've done. That's apart of life that we all have to discover within ourselves. You can become someone else trying to please what you think another person wants in a person. You can only be someone you're not but for so long.
We've all played the game of "impersonation with friends" (I wonder if there's an app for that lol), where you pretend to be someone else and your friends have to guess who that person is. Notice how much energy it takes to play that role? So why in the world would you want to be someone other than who you are everyday of your life. That's a lot of wasted energy. Give the person you are getting involved with the person they are gonna wake up to 6 months from now in the beginning. When you give someone the truth about who you are, what you want, what your expectations, wants and needs are from the start they have no other choice but to decide where they want the two of you to go. Being not 100% true and honest only makes them fall for someone else and then wake up one day, you are being the real you and they are going to lose all interest. Then the problems start and you are sitting wondering where it all went wrong. Answer to that? In the beginning.
How can you expect someone to stay in a situation when they've spent all this time getting to know someone that doesn't even exist? They now see who you really are and they have to learn everything all over again. What would you do? What if they basically were living a lie, would you stay? We sometimes become so consumed in trying to prove people wrong for what ever reason that we become so many different people and are so unconscious that everyday a little bit of the true us disappears more and more. Then what are we left with. A lonely shell that's wondering why the love we really want never seems to appear.
Take the time to really sit down and look back over your past and see where it all went wrong. When did it first happen that you felt you had to portray something you weren't? The people around you can't place any judgement if you walk up with your head held high and understand that your past makes you who you are in the present. Take every past experience as a lesson and allow those experiences to drive you be a better individual in the future. Life is about growing and understanding that every is their own person for a reason, and you shouldn't be trying to be the next person because that person is already taken.
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
TRUTH: Uncut
I had a very interesting conversation with one of my best friends about an epidemic of faultiness and nastiness going on this DC area and abroad in the homosexual community. First off let me say I call this person a best friend because I can trust this person with my deepest secrets and we can talk about anything from good, bad and indifferent. We know each other inside and out and truly love each other to death. In this conversation we had, we came to realize that we don’t understand a lot of the decisions that the younger and sometimes older generations make when it comes to “friends”, “lovers”, “fuck buddies”, “boyfriends”, “dates” and etc. We just don’t understand how a lot and mainly majority of you say you are so real, and not fake nor faulty, yet a lot of you are having dealings, whether sexually or flirtatiously with people you have no business doing so with. WRONG!!!! You are wrong and 9 times out of 10 you know it and don’t care.
I will take the DC area for instance because I live here and hear so much of what goes on. Yes when I say I know everything…I really do because the information is brought to me. I get information about people that I barely even know but they are somehow connected to 90% of the residents of this city that I do know or know of. I find that quite interesting and only because that same person is probably walking around playing the role of an angel when they’re an angel in disguise.
These people are users not opportunists like in my last post. These people use the people around them for their advantage and don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. They use their “friends” to get whatever it is they want, and in this case it’s their boyfriends or love interest happens to be the target. What I don’t understand is, how can you call someone your friend and listen to all the information they tell you about their relationship and go behind their back and sleep with the person who should be off limits to you?? I know the answer….JEALOUSY!!! You are jealous of what they have and want to taste it for yourself. You get one little morsel of what that person has to offer and forget about all the morals or lack thereof that you have in that inconsiderate mind of yours. The only other thing I can fathom in my mind is that you are too insecure to go out and find your own, so you have to be conniving and go behind the backs of those who have spent time building a relationship and tear apart what they have because you want to walk in their shoes for the 5 minutes of pleasure you receive. Even worse, you return for more making the situation worse and continue to smile and ke-ke with your so-called “sister”.
Now you boyfriends aren’t any better. Why get into these relationships that you don’t want to be in only to cheat and break the heart of someone you so-called loved. I find that you young people use the word love too loosely to fill a void of something you haven’t gotten in your past. Most of you don’t love yourselves enough to understand what love is, and yet you throw the word around like it doesn’t hold any weight. You play the role but don’t live it and expect for others to just sit around and be dumb and naïve to all the bullshit you kick. Well not here, I don’t want it and I’m pretty sure the person you claim to be with doesn’t either. Just be honest and tell the person from the beginning what you want and expect, and if a relationship isn’t that, then just be honest and tell the other party. I just don’t understand the point of living a lie.
I also feel this is the exact reason why the HIV/AIDS percentage rate keeps skyrocketing. I understand that everyone makes mistakes and it is no one’s intention on contracting the illness, but once you have been tested and a positive result is the outcome, you’re mindset should change. This is what I feel is not happening. I think people feel like they have to become a new person that is heartless and gives up and just does whatever they want. Let me stop here and just say that this is my opinion and you don’t have to agree but I express how I feel. I know way too many people that are HIV positive that are out here doing things that they know damn well what they are doing is wrong and feel that they have clear justification for their actions. Now I know most of you feel that you are grown and can do whatever the hell you please, and that may be true, but there are people’s lives at stake and you come across the right one then your life will become at stake if you catch my drift. My point is just be careful and take care of yourselves. On the other hand stop being so damn nasty and sleeping with everyone. I don’t know anyone who wants to be with someone that every time they go to a ball, city, pride event, or just in conversation with their friends and your name is the first thing that pops up when sex is brought up. That’s just nasty and it doesn’t help your reputation or character. Get to know yourself and you won’t have to become the shadow of someone else. No one is original anymore, and everyone wants to look and say and be someone else because of what one person has. WACK!!! Why the hell would you want what someone else has when you can have what they have and more by just being yourself? Think about that…..
There are so many of you that just don’t have any self respect for yourselves and me personally don’t wanna be bothered with people of your character. The old cliché says “birds of a feather, flock together” and I am the type of bird that there is only one of that kind of species and I don’t want to be caught up in the swarm of you vultures that just take and have nothing to offer. My feathers are too bright and I will not accept you or your dusty claws into my nest.
I will take the DC area for instance because I live here and hear so much of what goes on. Yes when I say I know everything…I really do because the information is brought to me. I get information about people that I barely even know but they are somehow connected to 90% of the residents of this city that I do know or know of. I find that quite interesting and only because that same person is probably walking around playing the role of an angel when they’re an angel in disguise.
These people are users not opportunists like in my last post. These people use the people around them for their advantage and don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. They use their “friends” to get whatever it is they want, and in this case it’s their boyfriends or love interest happens to be the target. What I don’t understand is, how can you call someone your friend and listen to all the information they tell you about their relationship and go behind their back and sleep with the person who should be off limits to you?? I know the answer….JEALOUSY!!! You are jealous of what they have and want to taste it for yourself. You get one little morsel of what that person has to offer and forget about all the morals or lack thereof that you have in that inconsiderate mind of yours. The only other thing I can fathom in my mind is that you are too insecure to go out and find your own, so you have to be conniving and go behind the backs of those who have spent time building a relationship and tear apart what they have because you want to walk in their shoes for the 5 minutes of pleasure you receive. Even worse, you return for more making the situation worse and continue to smile and ke-ke with your so-called “sister”.
Now you boyfriends aren’t any better. Why get into these relationships that you don’t want to be in only to cheat and break the heart of someone you so-called loved. I find that you young people use the word love too loosely to fill a void of something you haven’t gotten in your past. Most of you don’t love yourselves enough to understand what love is, and yet you throw the word around like it doesn’t hold any weight. You play the role but don’t live it and expect for others to just sit around and be dumb and naïve to all the bullshit you kick. Well not here, I don’t want it and I’m pretty sure the person you claim to be with doesn’t either. Just be honest and tell the person from the beginning what you want and expect, and if a relationship isn’t that, then just be honest and tell the other party. I just don’t understand the point of living a lie.
I also feel this is the exact reason why the HIV/AIDS percentage rate keeps skyrocketing. I understand that everyone makes mistakes and it is no one’s intention on contracting the illness, but once you have been tested and a positive result is the outcome, you’re mindset should change. This is what I feel is not happening. I think people feel like they have to become a new person that is heartless and gives up and just does whatever they want. Let me stop here and just say that this is my opinion and you don’t have to agree but I express how I feel. I know way too many people that are HIV positive that are out here doing things that they know damn well what they are doing is wrong and feel that they have clear justification for their actions. Now I know most of you feel that you are grown and can do whatever the hell you please, and that may be true, but there are people’s lives at stake and you come across the right one then your life will become at stake if you catch my drift. My point is just be careful and take care of yourselves. On the other hand stop being so damn nasty and sleeping with everyone. I don’t know anyone who wants to be with someone that every time they go to a ball, city, pride event, or just in conversation with their friends and your name is the first thing that pops up when sex is brought up. That’s just nasty and it doesn’t help your reputation or character. Get to know yourself and you won’t have to become the shadow of someone else. No one is original anymore, and everyone wants to look and say and be someone else because of what one person has. WACK!!! Why the hell would you want what someone else has when you can have what they have and more by just being yourself? Think about that…..
There are so many of you that just don’t have any self respect for yourselves and me personally don’t wanna be bothered with people of your character. The old cliché says “birds of a feather, flock together” and I am the type of bird that there is only one of that kind of species and I don’t want to be caught up in the swarm of you vultures that just take and have nothing to offer. My feathers are too bright and I will not accept you or your dusty claws into my nest.
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