There was once a time when not even Prince Charming could get to my heart. "For what?" I would ask myself. "So he could turn around and rip it out of my chest and do whatever he wanted to do with it when he wanted to?" No ma'am! But something happened.... I had talks with friends and they always told me that I was too guarded and didn't open myself up to what I could have been missing. Well what i thought was missing, appeared and I ran with it. Or so I thought....
You know in doing things differently you have to change everything mentally, physically, and psychologically. There is now another person you have to think about as well. Almost like a child but different. You have to think about what they wanna do, what they eat or don't eat, what are their hobbies, whats their favorite color. Now in getting to know someone you learn these things pretty frequently, but what happens next when those are accomplished? What do you do to move forward? This place was once referred to me as being the "infatuation stage". Once that's over why is it that it seems that you don't know where to go? I entertained that thought in my "Crossroads" post, so i wont go back. But say one of you doesn't know how to capture the others interest in the way they want you to. Should the other person move on, or should they communicate what it is that they are looking for? I don't ever remember being able to read minds nor do I honestly believe there is one person that can. You have to communicate what it is you want out of anything in life, because people can only do but so much when it comes to providing you with the happiness you seek. You cannot expect people to control situations when there is no direction for them to go into because you are just waiting to see what happens.
Another thing, if someone expresses what they want from you don't run from it. If you can handle it, take it by the horns by all means necessary and do it. If you cant, communicate that and you both work out a compromise to make the situation work. Have you ever noticed how people 60 and older have been in relationship for 30, 40 and 50 years long? That's because they talk about everything from what they cant stand to what it is they love. Young people don't do that anymore. Instead at the slightest chance of an opening they run and then when they realize what they were running to is not what they wanted, they feel the need to run back to the one they ran from. Oh now you realize that just because at the point you weren't getting what you felt you needed you wanted to leave. Therefore, you think I was gonna sit around and wait for you to make up your mind? No ma'am
I have said it time and time again, never have someone fall for you when you don't intend on catching them, because when they get up their back will be to you! The old cliche saying "you don't know what you got til its gone" is so true. Stop chasing the ones that you want to fuck your body, and find the ones that will fuck your mind. I don't mean fuck it and leave like a one night stand, I mean one that will fuck your mind and stay until it becomes love making. That is someone that no matter what happens you have nothing but amazing thoughts about them. There should never be a time where you feel like you are being taken advantage of. At that point, you need to remove yourself. People only do to you what you allow them to. If you don't want him walking in and out of your life when he's ready, don't let him. Stop allowing him to get away with it the first time. I have a philosophy that a man when he's forgiven for something he has not business being forgiven for, he feels he got away with it, and will try his hand again. No ma'am, nip it in the bud the first time, so that he will think three times before even thinking about trying something that could cause him his happiness.
I have decided that I have done something different and in that process I have learned something different. Sometimes different doesn't work and you have to resort to being the old you. Go back to what you do that makes you comfortable. Changing for someone is never the answer, if they want you and want to be with you, they will accept you for EVERYTHING that you are different or indifferent.
Peace
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