When did it become so important in a relationship to worry and care about the other person so much that we totally forget about ourselves? When was it instilled in our heads that as long as the other person in this relationship is happy, we will someday get what WE actually want? Have we seen so many dysfunctional relationships that we don't know what reciprocity is anymore and dysfunction has become the norm?
Well personally I'm tired of dysfunction, and tired of seeing it surround my life when I see so many unhappy people in these relationships. I wonder if some of you actually spent time getting to know yourselves for 30 days doing whatever it is YOU want to and like to do without having someone persuade you otherwise, then after regrouping and writing down what it is you want someone to add to that, would you actually WANT to be with the person you are with now. I'm almost positive a good 70% of you would be single instantly. The reason being you have put yourself on the back burner thinking you had to do so to prove to your partner that you care.
I believe a lot of us forget that what we want in a relationship is just as important as the other person's wants and needs. If you place all of your opinions, thoughts, wants, desires and creative energies to the side, then so will your partner. A person will do anything and everything you allow them to. If they see they always get what they want, they will continue to disregard your feelings and it will always keep you unhappy.
What is it that you really want in a relationship? How can you enhance the life you're living with the person you are with? Write down what it is you want from your partner. Is the person you laying with giving you 80% of what's on that list? Hell, are they giving you 50%? I started with 80% because its impossible to find someone that will give you 100, and if you have that person, then you need to disclose the software application you programmed them with! I just want more people to really sit back and get to know themselves and what it is they want before divulging themselves into these relationships where they lose who they are, and then wake up one day and realize they are miserable.
Also remove the materialistic items from the list. If you go into something looking for material, how do you expect to have a real relationship with expectations of things of a shelf life of only a season? Be truly honest with yourself about who you are and what you want and others will have no choice but to step up to the plate or step away. Put out the respect you want to receive and it will have no other option but present itself to you. Also stop expecting what you want to be the visual image you've set forth in your mind. Your soul mate could be someone that has been in your past that you disregarded because they weren't physically what you would normally look for. So after writing your list, look back at those that have crossed your path that is that 80%. You'll probably be greatly surprised at who they were.
In the end, we have to make sure that we are in the forefront of the relationship just as much as the other person. Don't become a clone to their beliefs, thoughts, ideas and wants. They were attracted to you for you being you, you should stay that way. If you find yourself getting lost, pull out the map you drew for yourself and get back on the right track. Even if that means leaving them at the campground.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Men Aren't From Mars....
That old saying some things are just to be understood is so relevant when it comes to the subject matter of men. Now I know you wonder to yourself "how can a man say that??" And my answer to that is always "clearly I'm a different species"!!! LOL...
I say men aren't from Mars because if we really break down what we seem to know about martians, they are extremely intelligent beings! Now I'm not saying that men aren't intelligent, they just make the dumbest decisions, have the dumbest thought processes, and can just downright get on our last nerves sometimes!! See...things we don't understand.
For example, why do men stop working for something once they believe they have "gotten it"?? They do all this flaunting, styling, wining and dining to get what they want and the moment their successful they feel the work is done. Whether sex, a relationship, or whatever they feel they can relax and sit back while the other party continues to work. Is there part of us that allows them to feel this way. Are we working to keep them, or have we dropped our standards because we have them and don't keep them on their toes??
I've seen so many times in others' relationships (and in mine), in the beginning he does what you want or believe you want and the moment certain levels are reached he slacks more and more. It takes a while before we even realize it has happened until you've realized you're doing all the calling, making all the plans, saying the "I Love Yous" first and basically initiating everything. Why does he stop? What goes on in his head? What is he thinking?
I say its time to start asking him, because he will continue to slack if you continue to let. Keep your expectations changing and keeping him on his toes. Maybe if we change up on em every once in a while, they won't be able to get complacent. Complacency is no where to be in a relationship, because complacency leads to boredom which leads to lack of communication and we all know what lack of communication does to a relationship.
Start exploring the foreign planet their brain resides on and let's not keep believing it Mars. Even Martians come to our planet every now and then to see what's going on.
I say men aren't from Mars because if we really break down what we seem to know about martians, they are extremely intelligent beings! Now I'm not saying that men aren't intelligent, they just make the dumbest decisions, have the dumbest thought processes, and can just downright get on our last nerves sometimes!! See...things we don't understand.
For example, why do men stop working for something once they believe they have "gotten it"?? They do all this flaunting, styling, wining and dining to get what they want and the moment their successful they feel the work is done. Whether sex, a relationship, or whatever they feel they can relax and sit back while the other party continues to work. Is there part of us that allows them to feel this way. Are we working to keep them, or have we dropped our standards because we have them and don't keep them on their toes??
I've seen so many times in others' relationships (and in mine), in the beginning he does what you want or believe you want and the moment certain levels are reached he slacks more and more. It takes a while before we even realize it has happened until you've realized you're doing all the calling, making all the plans, saying the "I Love Yous" first and basically initiating everything. Why does he stop? What goes on in his head? What is he thinking?
I say its time to start asking him, because he will continue to slack if you continue to let. Keep your expectations changing and keeping him on his toes. Maybe if we change up on em every once in a while, they won't be able to get complacent. Complacency is no where to be in a relationship, because complacency leads to boredom which leads to lack of communication and we all know what lack of communication does to a relationship.
Start exploring the foreign planet their brain resides on and let's not keep believing it Mars. Even Martians come to our planet every now and then to see what's going on.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Someone Like You (Unsaid Words)
I heard that you're settled down that you've found a guy that you're married. Knowing you all the time told me that marriage wasn't necessary kinda makes me gag, but you always did shit that contrasted what you said. I heard that your dreams came true. I guess he gave you things that I couldn't give to you. Like the labels, and the big scene out in public. The unconditional love I had to offer wasn't enough for your ego. Or what you thought a relationship should be. Time and time again I sat around and thought you would change, when you had only decided to move on.
Old friend, the love of my life, why are you so shy ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light. Hell you were the light that brightened up the room. Is it because I've shown up and you can't hide your true feelings any longer, but here you stand about to make a decision that will ultimately destroy 3 lives. I hate turn up out the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight and I hoped that when you saw my face you'd be reminded it was over for me. I hope you understand it isn't for me because I think about you every single day of my life and I know you feel the same way by the look on your face.
But you know what, never mind I'll find someone like you I wish the best for you two. I know in the bottom of my heart that's an impossible task because there is no one like you and could never be. Don't forget me I beg and I'll remember you said sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. That saying is the first and last thought of the day because those words were spoken from your mouth. And this is the point where it will hurt instead forever. Just don't forget me.
You know how the time flies seems like yesterday were the time of our lives we were born in a summer haze bound by our glory days. I mean I've only known you since I was 6 years old and you were my everything. You took a part of me, when I was first ready that you will always have with you. Now those are just memories that can only be held by the thought of you. All for us to move on. I really didn't wanna show up like this, but I wanted my face to be a reminder that for me this isn't over.
But like I said never mind I'll find someone like you, I really wish the best for you two. Nothing compares no worries or cares, regrets and mistakes are memories made. Who would've known how bittersweet this would taste. I mean just forget all the memories that we've made. They seem to mean nothing to you so I just have to move along. But you know what you would've thought this would actually feel like this.
But again I'll find someone like you I wish the best for you two. Live a happy fulfilled life and I will try. Don't forget me I beg and I'll remember you said sometimes is lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. Forever.
Old friend, the love of my life, why are you so shy ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light. Hell you were the light that brightened up the room. Is it because I've shown up and you can't hide your true feelings any longer, but here you stand about to make a decision that will ultimately destroy 3 lives. I hate turn up out the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight and I hoped that when you saw my face you'd be reminded it was over for me. I hope you understand it isn't for me because I think about you every single day of my life and I know you feel the same way by the look on your face.
But you know what, never mind I'll find someone like you I wish the best for you two. I know in the bottom of my heart that's an impossible task because there is no one like you and could never be. Don't forget me I beg and I'll remember you said sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. That saying is the first and last thought of the day because those words were spoken from your mouth. And this is the point where it will hurt instead forever. Just don't forget me.
You know how the time flies seems like yesterday were the time of our lives we were born in a summer haze bound by our glory days. I mean I've only known you since I was 6 years old and you were my everything. You took a part of me, when I was first ready that you will always have with you. Now those are just memories that can only be held by the thought of you. All for us to move on. I really didn't wanna show up like this, but I wanted my face to be a reminder that for me this isn't over.
But like I said never mind I'll find someone like you, I really wish the best for you two. Nothing compares no worries or cares, regrets and mistakes are memories made. Who would've known how bittersweet this would taste. I mean just forget all the memories that we've made. They seem to mean nothing to you so I just have to move along. But you know what you would've thought this would actually feel like this.
But again I'll find someone like you I wish the best for you two. Live a happy fulfilled life and I will try. Don't forget me I beg and I'll remember you said sometimes is lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. Forever.
Friday, June 24, 2011
These Shoes
There's an old saying that goes "you could never walk a mile in my shoes". Now there are a lot of believe who believe that, but why do they believe it. The reason is you don't know the exact reasons why a person would say that in the first place. Could that be the reason behind the saying??
We never know what most people have gone through unless they verbally themselves display that information. So "walking in their shoes" is utterly impossible.
Now taking the literal version of that same phrase can have a whole different meaning. Now I can walk in any shoe, boot, pump (youtube me lol), sandal or flip flop given. But all of you reading can't say that...so I say to you..."You can't walk a mile in my shoes"...hehehe j/k!!
But the shoes in this picture haven't been through the same mile that the feet that occupy them have journeyed through. Why you ask? Because the shoes were just bought so they aren't old enough to have gone through the journey. That doesn't mean they are any less important because they will now do their job of a journey that they will then be able to tell a story. The feet are the most wise because without them leading the way this journey of life would be completely different and your views will then be different so therefore your actions.
I say this because judgement is rapid these days and it hinders a lot of possibly great relationships. Never out what the person looks like through their journey determine the journey you think they've encountered. Sit back and ask questions about their journey and you may find obstacles that they've come across just may be in your near future. Your feet will never take the same journey of their feet but you just might need their shoes.
You can have these when I'm done...
Friday, June 10, 2011
I Don't Normally do This but I can't refrain....
I'm not the type to go off on social networks because I sometimes feel like those rants are often ill needs for attention that ultimately won't be received. Not received because people don't have empathy or sympathy for the situation(s) stated, but because the QUANTITY of those situations. Quantities that make those situations too frequent.
But not to take this post to another subject (which is another post coming soon), I'm going to do this rant because I feel people around me forget that what you do in the dark will ALWAYS come to the light. And that karma is an evil bitch and also my best friend!!!
I was in a situation with this boi, who claimed to be a man, where I gave multiple situations of forgiveness when after the first one I shouldve learned my lesson. Now there was something about him...I guess the challenge, that kept me interested. Now though I am gonna blast his shit, I do take full responsibility of my actions because that would be immature of me no to. But he time after time of standing me up and lying about God knows what, got many more opportunities than one that I have gone on a date with got. But instead of trying to use that to his advantage he decided to continue lying and digging a deeper hole.
In one of his lies was that while we were together that he had slept with someone that I had known or had known me. And supposedly the reason for him telling me was because after not wanting to talk to the person again, the person had threatened to tell me themselves. Now at this point I decided to let the story slide (naivete kicked in) and give yet another chance. But this is where the story takes a turn.
The last draw was the last time he stood me up and basically admitted to it. This where the shit hits the fan...most recently this evening the other guy I mentioned earlier tweeted the name of this boi and I asked a simple question....ignored all attempts to rectify the situation. Now we all know I'm an observant bitch (hell how u think I get the ideas for these posts you love so mich lmao), so I can clearly put the pieces together and see that they been talking for the longest time. Not only did my naivete hinder me from seeing it but it allowed me to also be a pawn for when there was a hitch in their relationship. That's why he could never see me because then it would all hit the fan.
It amazes me how niggas don't think that they shit don't stink and they can do whatever they want. When does that thought come across their mind and they believe it. Are they that immature that they believe these fallacies of their imagination. I guess I'm the only one in the world who feels that you have to work for the things you want because only a few are born with that silver spoon. And that goes for love too. How do they expect to ever have a real relationship if they go into all of them with these ideals of their perfect world?
I know what it is!! It's the people who are weak minded enough to not realize wants going on and continue to fall deeper and deeper in lust with the bum. Yes lust....you can't fully love someone who doesn't even attempt to love in return. Its time for us to start following our guts and realizing when to cut them off. The first time!! Stop allowing these bois shaped like men living these false lives they've created. It only makes u a character in their story, and they have enjoying writing every page with your name attached.
Don't let the fear of being by yourself until the right one comes ultimately keep you unhappy because you have no real control of your heart.
But not to take this post to another subject (which is another post coming soon), I'm going to do this rant because I feel people around me forget that what you do in the dark will ALWAYS come to the light. And that karma is an evil bitch and also my best friend!!!
I was in a situation with this boi, who claimed to be a man, where I gave multiple situations of forgiveness when after the first one I shouldve learned my lesson. Now there was something about him...I guess the challenge, that kept me interested. Now though I am gonna blast his shit, I do take full responsibility of my actions because that would be immature of me no to. But he time after time of standing me up and lying about God knows what, got many more opportunities than one that I have gone on a date with got. But instead of trying to use that to his advantage he decided to continue lying and digging a deeper hole.
In one of his lies was that while we were together that he had slept with someone that I had known or had known me. And supposedly the reason for him telling me was because after not wanting to talk to the person again, the person had threatened to tell me themselves. Now at this point I decided to let the story slide (naivete kicked in) and give yet another chance. But this is where the story takes a turn.
The last draw was the last time he stood me up and basically admitted to it. This where the shit hits the fan...most recently this evening the other guy I mentioned earlier tweeted the name of this boi and I asked a simple question....ignored all attempts to rectify the situation. Now we all know I'm an observant bitch (hell how u think I get the ideas for these posts you love so mich lmao), so I can clearly put the pieces together and see that they been talking for the longest time. Not only did my naivete hinder me from seeing it but it allowed me to also be a pawn for when there was a hitch in their relationship. That's why he could never see me because then it would all hit the fan.
It amazes me how niggas don't think that they shit don't stink and they can do whatever they want. When does that thought come across their mind and they believe it. Are they that immature that they believe these fallacies of their imagination. I guess I'm the only one in the world who feels that you have to work for the things you want because only a few are born with that silver spoon. And that goes for love too. How do they expect to ever have a real relationship if they go into all of them with these ideals of their perfect world?
I know what it is!! It's the people who are weak minded enough to not realize wants going on and continue to fall deeper and deeper in lust with the bum. Yes lust....you can't fully love someone who doesn't even attempt to love in return. Its time for us to start following our guts and realizing when to cut them off. The first time!! Stop allowing these bois shaped like men living these false lives they've created. It only makes u a character in their story, and they have enjoying writing every page with your name attached.
Don't let the fear of being by yourself until the right one comes ultimately keep you unhappy because you have no real control of your heart.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Living a Real Life of Assumption and the Causes
I am living the perfect example of what can happen when one person makes an assumption of a reality that they have created in their mind. I have an associate that took past experiences and created a reality for themselves that doesn't really exist. He took his physical attributes and made assumptions of those that cross his path.
Why do attractive men think that because they know they are attractive and successful and have a good head on their shoulders, that they are targets for those who only want them for those physical attributes?? Why do they assume that the genuine ones are just like the rest of thirsty and treat them as such? My associate doesn't even realize the bridge he burned because of his choice not to even ask what the situation really was. To me that just makes him just as unattractive as the rest of them.
To assume that someone who really cared about what was going on in your life was just only doing so to try and conquer something that was created only in your personal mind is quite childish, insecure and unattractive. It makes me question what was going on in your head that you couldn't come to terms with. Maybe the fact that you were actually becoming to attracted to the real ideal of what you wanted in a mate?? See gay men have the ability to create the perfect person for them and not realizing when that actual person is presented to them because he doesn't fit the physical we created in our head. When will we learn to actually look at the heart of a person and letting the contribute to the outward appearance.
Most of us don't realize that love done the right way is not what we have fictionalized for ourselves. God has put a person on this Earth especially made for us...He just wants us to open our eyes to the heart just has He does. When we do that we won't have to create personal realities, and thus having to assume something that never existed. When we decide to grow up and open up and let people in...the assumptions will end. Because in the end, as the old saying goes, when one assumes you only make an ass out of yourself...
#thinkaboutit
Why do attractive men think that because they know they are attractive and successful and have a good head on their shoulders, that they are targets for those who only want them for those physical attributes?? Why do they assume that the genuine ones are just like the rest of thirsty and treat them as such? My associate doesn't even realize the bridge he burned because of his choice not to even ask what the situation really was. To me that just makes him just as unattractive as the rest of them.
To assume that someone who really cared about what was going on in your life was just only doing so to try and conquer something that was created only in your personal mind is quite childish, insecure and unattractive. It makes me question what was going on in your head that you couldn't come to terms with. Maybe the fact that you were actually becoming to attracted to the real ideal of what you wanted in a mate?? See gay men have the ability to create the perfect person for them and not realizing when that actual person is presented to them because he doesn't fit the physical we created in our head. When will we learn to actually look at the heart of a person and letting the contribute to the outward appearance.
Most of us don't realize that love done the right way is not what we have fictionalized for ourselves. God has put a person on this Earth especially made for us...He just wants us to open our eyes to the heart just has He does. When we do that we won't have to create personal realities, and thus having to assume something that never existed. When we decide to grow up and open up and let people in...the assumptions will end. Because in the end, as the old saying goes, when one assumes you only make an ass out of yourself...
#thinkaboutit
Monday, February 28, 2011
Your Name Makes You
You know I've come to realize that a lot of people don't know how detrimental their name can really be. It doesn't take winning a prize or becoming a millionaire for your name to get around faster than you do. And this can cause all different types of reactions from people upon your first encounter with them.
I say this because recently I had a conversation with friends and i just had to talk about this. Have you ever encountered someone that you didn't necessarily know upon first seeing them, but when a friend of yours mentioned their name all the attractiveness went out the window?? That's exactly what I am talking about. You've heard about every Tom, Dick and Harry that they've been with and they become an unattractive "hoe".
I am not that much older but the younger generation really pisses me off because when I am out I know about 80% of the shit that goes on in these little circles, and each and every one of them are combined and intertwined by atleast 2 of the people in them. Which is quite scary to me! This only lets me know that either most of either too immature to leave your friends dates alone, or too insecure to break the mold of what you see your friends doing. I have always been the one to date the person I found attractive and not my friends. That's for two reasons....1 I don't have to worry about them trying to talk to my partner and 2 I set my own accord to what I want. My friends aren't going to be the one that wakes up to my partner every morning so therefore they don't get to tell me what is attractive or not.
Sex is another thing that I find that a lot of you are using to intertwine this circles. You have these conversations about what happens, how good he was, how big his "meat" is and when you find that interesting, you secretly go after (and I find that you often succeed) the leftovers your friend, ex date, bestie as already experienced. Just down right NASTY if you ask me. Mind you the whole time, the boy who's getting all the ass, has a confidante (like myself) that they are telling all your business to. And thus, your reputation is built.
Now you are going around doing all this, and not even realizing that the decisions you are making in your personal relationships is gathering and gathering and making you look like something that you may not necessarily truly be because you are satisfying only the desires of your body and not your heart. Then you gain this maturity and are truly ready to settle down. But what happens is, you've been doing you for so long when it's time to settle down you, the ones that are truly worth your time don't want to be bothered because your name as been mentioned so often in the dirt around the city they don't even give you the time of day. Therefore you go thru all this time of being single trying to fix the reputation of false identity because of your past.
I just want some of you to really evaluate the decisions you make when starting to involve yourselves in these escapades of "relationships". Because what you think you are hiding, is actually presenting itself without your knowledge and can only damage your image faster than you think it will. Just mature and really evaluate the person you are about to date, or just have a one night (sometime multiple night)stand with. It only takes 1 second for you to become the "hoe" of the city.
#thinkaboutit
I say this because recently I had a conversation with friends and i just had to talk about this. Have you ever encountered someone that you didn't necessarily know upon first seeing them, but when a friend of yours mentioned their name all the attractiveness went out the window?? That's exactly what I am talking about. You've heard about every Tom, Dick and Harry that they've been with and they become an unattractive "hoe".
I am not that much older but the younger generation really pisses me off because when I am out I know about 80% of the shit that goes on in these little circles, and each and every one of them are combined and intertwined by atleast 2 of the people in them. Which is quite scary to me! This only lets me know that either most of either too immature to leave your friends dates alone, or too insecure to break the mold of what you see your friends doing. I have always been the one to date the person I found attractive and not my friends. That's for two reasons....1 I don't have to worry about them trying to talk to my partner and 2 I set my own accord to what I want. My friends aren't going to be the one that wakes up to my partner every morning so therefore they don't get to tell me what is attractive or not.
Sex is another thing that I find that a lot of you are using to intertwine this circles. You have these conversations about what happens, how good he was, how big his "meat" is and when you find that interesting, you secretly go after (and I find that you often succeed) the leftovers your friend, ex date, bestie as already experienced. Just down right NASTY if you ask me. Mind you the whole time, the boy who's getting all the ass, has a confidante (like myself) that they are telling all your business to. And thus, your reputation is built.
Now you are going around doing all this, and not even realizing that the decisions you are making in your personal relationships is gathering and gathering and making you look like something that you may not necessarily truly be because you are satisfying only the desires of your body and not your heart. Then you gain this maturity and are truly ready to settle down. But what happens is, you've been doing you for so long when it's time to settle down you, the ones that are truly worth your time don't want to be bothered because your name as been mentioned so often in the dirt around the city they don't even give you the time of day. Therefore you go thru all this time of being single trying to fix the reputation of false identity because of your past.
I just want some of you to really evaluate the decisions you make when starting to involve yourselves in these escapades of "relationships". Because what you think you are hiding, is actually presenting itself without your knowledge and can only damage your image faster than you think it will. Just mature and really evaluate the person you are about to date, or just have a one night (sometime multiple night)stand with. It only takes 1 second for you to become the "hoe" of the city.
#thinkaboutit
Saturday, January 8, 2011
A Twilight Love
Earlier today, I was watching "Twilight" (which I think is one of the best love stories this generation has seen) and a particular part struck a nerve and gave me this amazing question that I asked to myself. In this part, Edward (the sexy, witty vampire) is explaining to Bella (his soon to be lover and human) that he can read every mind in the restaurant except for hers. And that's when it hit me!!! Is the one person that's meant for us supposed to be the one we can never figure out? Are we supposed to take our time in this life together on this journey to try and figure each other out and have the best time doing it?
How many older couples have you talked to and asked "how did you all stay together so long"?? I bet if you did, the answer would be something like "everytime I see them its like for the first time again" or "I'm still learning who is he today and that fascinates me". Relationships should be peaceful journeys on the discovery of what the other person brings to your life that makes it even more enjoyable. And not knowing everything about the person should make you even more intrigued and give you a yearning of continuously wanting more. Bella was never scared of Edward because the curiosity inside of her wouldn't allow her to be. And he couldn't understand why this human girl wasn't afraid of the most lethal creature on Earth. Yet the love was still pure, unconditional, and fearless.
I know soooo many people who are looking for that same love, but for some reason stop searching for thing that makes them intrigued. Its almost like a hunter and the prey. We set up these images in our mind of what we want and find attractive (prey) and go searching for it (hunter). Well in most circumstances, our prey is all around us because we want the attractive, money making (or so we thing), socialite hot topic who can't do anything for us. So we hunt, capture and feast (or date for sake of better wording) only to find that this particular prey is not what's gonna get us thru the winter. See once we've captured our prey we are no longer intrigued because its not what we originally want. We want the person who cares, respects, reciprocates what we give, and makes us feel that feeling of slight fear that grabs our attention. Have you ever thought to yourself that this person may just be the opposite of what your "prey" is?? I'll talk about this in the next post.
Back to looking at Bella and Edward, neither of them wouldve thought the day before they met that they would have this journey ahead of them. But when fate kicks in, you have no control over what is to take place. And you have to role with the punches. Edward tells Bella that her smell is like his own personal heroine. I wanna know what this fragrance was so I can go purchase it for a man, vampire, werewolf, leprechaun to tell me the same LOL!!! But seriously, that's a love that I know I'm searching for. A total opposite of myself that makes me laugh, gives me a reason to think, explore, question, defy. That person that I may not technically supposed to be with, but without them I couldn't imagine a life living; a person that no matter how many other minds I can read, theirs I cannot but I will spend the rest of my life or even the rest of theirs trying to figure them out. It takes an open mind and an open heart to find this needle in the haystack, but hey if those are open maybe he'll appear in my Biology class too.
How many older couples have you talked to and asked "how did you all stay together so long"?? I bet if you did, the answer would be something like "everytime I see them its like for the first time again" or "I'm still learning who is he today and that fascinates me". Relationships should be peaceful journeys on the discovery of what the other person brings to your life that makes it even more enjoyable. And not knowing everything about the person should make you even more intrigued and give you a yearning of continuously wanting more. Bella was never scared of Edward because the curiosity inside of her wouldn't allow her to be. And he couldn't understand why this human girl wasn't afraid of the most lethal creature on Earth. Yet the love was still pure, unconditional, and fearless.
I know soooo many people who are looking for that same love, but for some reason stop searching for thing that makes them intrigued. Its almost like a hunter and the prey. We set up these images in our mind of what we want and find attractive (prey) and go searching for it (hunter). Well in most circumstances, our prey is all around us because we want the attractive, money making (or so we thing), socialite hot topic who can't do anything for us. So we hunt, capture and feast (or date for sake of better wording) only to find that this particular prey is not what's gonna get us thru the winter. See once we've captured our prey we are no longer intrigued because its not what we originally want. We want the person who cares, respects, reciprocates what we give, and makes us feel that feeling of slight fear that grabs our attention. Have you ever thought to yourself that this person may just be the opposite of what your "prey" is?? I'll talk about this in the next post.
Back to looking at Bella and Edward, neither of them wouldve thought the day before they met that they would have this journey ahead of them. But when fate kicks in, you have no control over what is to take place. And you have to role with the punches. Edward tells Bella that her smell is like his own personal heroine. I wanna know what this fragrance was so I can go purchase it for a man, vampire, werewolf, leprechaun to tell me the same LOL!!! But seriously, that's a love that I know I'm searching for. A total opposite of myself that makes me laugh, gives me a reason to think, explore, question, defy. That person that I may not technically supposed to be with, but without them I couldn't imagine a life living; a person that no matter how many other minds I can read, theirs I cannot but I will spend the rest of my life or even the rest of theirs trying to figure them out. It takes an open mind and an open heart to find this needle in the haystack, but hey if those are open maybe he'll appear in my Biology class too.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Are You Insane???
You know I've learned something extremely interesting today. Insanity is the repetition of the same actions with the thought of a different outcome. In laymen's terms, you do the same thing over and over thinking next time it will be different. Thus, turning something that can be positive into a terrible cycle of headache and heartache.. So I have some questions for you all... Are you insane or sane?? Are you making the same mistake over and over and thinking "it'll be different this time"? Only to come to the conclusion what you thought would be is actually the exact opposite of what reality is.
Take an off again on again relationship for instance, how many of us have friends that continue breaking up with the same person over and over again and you don't understand why? I've found myself in this situation time and time again; and I find that I repeat myself more and more often. I feel that there are a lot of people stay in these relationships because of the fear of being alone. Or they "love" the person. When in actuality the main and clearest reason is that they are insane. They continue to go back and make the same decision thinking that "my relationship will be different this time". Well why in the hell would you think that when you're getting back with the same person from a week ago?? That person isn't gonna change because they know the cycle and they know you're only allowing them to be who they are. They don't have to change because you haven't changed your actions. You're only telling them that you've had enough of the bullshit that they've given you for this section of time and you need a break. So what do they do?? Go out have their fun and wait for the right moment when its convenient for them (and we've discussed "Convenience Store Love" before) to come back and start all over again. So I ask again are you sane or insane??
The person you're with is just as insane as you are because they're thinking "Lord why do we keep going thru this when I know I can get back?" They think this time he/she won't get tired of my actions and will be used to it and we won't have to keep going thru this. WRONG!!! The cycle isn't gonna change, the insanity isn't gonna end because you all are not communicating enough to get to the source of the issue. And after 3 or 4 times of the same shit, when does it hit you all that maybe the two of you may not just be that compatible. Stop fighting the inevitable because what is meant to be will be and what isn't won't.
There is a plan for all of us, and there are always signs that if something isn't working that maybe you aren't on the designed plan that was placed before you. Stop trying to make something out of nothing and destroying the precious but short time we have here. Happiness should be from within and effortless. Love in its purest is unconditional and without fear. If you fear you can't trust, communicate, or do certain things with the person that "loves" you then it isn't love. It's something else. Stop thinking that if you take the same exact steps everyday that the journey you're on will be any different. It won't!! You have to change your mindset and the decisions you make daily in order to be somewhere different. So again, sane or insane??
Take an off again on again relationship for instance, how many of us have friends that continue breaking up with the same person over and over again and you don't understand why? I've found myself in this situation time and time again; and I find that I repeat myself more and more often. I feel that there are a lot of people stay in these relationships because of the fear of being alone. Or they "love" the person. When in actuality the main and clearest reason is that they are insane. They continue to go back and make the same decision thinking that "my relationship will be different this time". Well why in the hell would you think that when you're getting back with the same person from a week ago?? That person isn't gonna change because they know the cycle and they know you're only allowing them to be who they are. They don't have to change because you haven't changed your actions. You're only telling them that you've had enough of the bullshit that they've given you for this section of time and you need a break. So what do they do?? Go out have their fun and wait for the right moment when its convenient for them (and we've discussed "Convenience Store Love" before) to come back and start all over again. So I ask again are you sane or insane??
The person you're with is just as insane as you are because they're thinking "Lord why do we keep going thru this when I know I can get back?" They think this time he/she won't get tired of my actions and will be used to it and we won't have to keep going thru this. WRONG!!! The cycle isn't gonna change, the insanity isn't gonna end because you all are not communicating enough to get to the source of the issue. And after 3 or 4 times of the same shit, when does it hit you all that maybe the two of you may not just be that compatible. Stop fighting the inevitable because what is meant to be will be and what isn't won't.
There is a plan for all of us, and there are always signs that if something isn't working that maybe you aren't on the designed plan that was placed before you. Stop trying to make something out of nothing and destroying the precious but short time we have here. Happiness should be from within and effortless. Love in its purest is unconditional and without fear. If you fear you can't trust, communicate, or do certain things with the person that "loves" you then it isn't love. It's something else. Stop thinking that if you take the same exact steps everyday that the journey you're on will be any different. It won't!! You have to change your mindset and the decisions you make daily in order to be somewhere different. So again, sane or insane??
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