These Shoes

There's an old saying that goes "you could never walk a mile in my shoes". Now there are a lot of believe who believe that, but why do they believe it. The reason is you don't know the exact reasons why a person would say that in the first place. Could that be the reason behind the saying??
We never know what most people have gone through unless they verbally themselves display that information. So "walking in their shoes" is utterly impossible.

Now taking the literal version of that same phrase can have a whole different meaning. Now I can walk in any shoe, boot, pump (youtube me lol), sandal or flip flop given. But all of you reading can't say that...so I say to you..."You can't walk a mile in my shoes"...hehehe j/k!!

But the shoes in this picture haven't been through the same mile that the feet that occupy them have journeyed through. Why you ask? Because the shoes were just bought so they aren't old enough to have gone through the journey. That doesn't mean they are any less important because they will now do their job of a journey that they will then be able to tell a story. The feet are the most wise because without them leading the way this journey of life would be completely different and your views will then be different so therefore your actions.

I say this because judgement is rapid these days and it hinders a lot of possibly great relationships. Never out what the person looks like through their journey determine the journey you think they've encountered. Sit back and ask questions about their journey and you may find obstacles that they've come across just may be in your near future. Your feet will never take the same journey of their feet but you just might need their shoes.


You can have these when I'm done...

I Don't Normally do This but I can't refrain....

I'm not the type to go off on social networks because I sometimes feel like those rants are often ill needs for attention that ultimately won't be received. Not received because people don't have empathy or sympathy for the situation(s) stated, but because the QUANTITY of those situations. Quantities that make those situations too frequent.

But not to take this post to another subject (which is another post coming soon), I'm going to do this rant because I feel people around me forget that what you do in the dark will ALWAYS come to the light. And that karma is an evil bitch and also my best friend!!!

I was in a situation with this boi, who claimed to be a man, where I gave multiple situations of forgiveness when after the first one I shouldve learned my lesson. Now there was something about him...I guess the challenge, that kept me interested. Now though I am gonna blast his shit, I do take full responsibility of my actions because that would be immature of me no to. But he time after time of standing me up and lying about God knows what, got many more opportunities than one that I have gone on a date with got. But instead of trying to use that to his advantage he decided to continue lying and digging a deeper hole.

In one of his lies was that while we were together that he had slept with someone that I had known or had known me. And supposedly the reason for him telling me was because after not wanting to talk to the person again, the person had threatened to tell me themselves. Now at this point I decided to let the story slide (naivete kicked in) and give yet another chance. But this is where the story takes a turn.

The last draw was the last time he stood me up and basically admitted to it. This where the shit hits the fan...most recently this evening the other guy I mentioned earlier tweeted the name of this boi and I asked a simple question....ignored all attempts to rectify the situation. Now we all know I'm an observant bitch (hell how u think I get the ideas for these posts you love so mich lmao), so I can clearly put the pieces together and see that they been talking for the longest time. Not only did my naivete hinder me from seeing it but it allowed me to also be a pawn for when there was a hitch in their relationship. That's why he could never see me because then it would all hit the fan.

It amazes me how niggas don't think that they shit don't stink and they can do whatever they want. When does that thought come across their mind and they believe it. Are they that immature that they believe these fallacies of their imagination. I guess I'm the only one in the world who feels that you have to work for the things you want because only a few are born with that silver spoon. And that goes for love too. How do they expect to ever have a real relationship if they go into all of them with these ideals of their perfect world?

I know what it is!! It's the people who are weak minded enough to not realize wants going on and continue to fall deeper and deeper in lust with the bum. Yes lust....you can't fully love someone who doesn't even attempt to love in return. Its time for us to start following our guts and realizing when to cut them off. The first time!! Stop allowing these bois shaped like men living these false lives they've created. It only makes u a character in their story, and they have enjoying writing every page with your name attached.

Don't let the fear of being by yourself until the right one comes ultimately keep you unhappy because you have no real control of your heart.

Living a Real Life of Assumption and the Causes

I am living the perfect example of what can happen when one person makes an assumption of a reality that they have created in their mind. I have an associate that took past experiences and created a reality for themselves that doesn't really exist. He took his physical attributes and made assumptions of those that cross his path.

Why do attractive men think that because they know they are attractive and successful and have a good head on their shoulders, that they are targets for those who only want them for those physical attributes?? Why do they assume that the genuine ones are just like the rest of thirsty and treat them as such? My associate doesn't even realize the bridge he burned because of his choice not to even ask what the situation really was. To me that just makes him just as unattractive as the rest of them.

To assume that someone who really cared about what was going on in your life was just only doing so to try and conquer something that was created only in your personal mind is quite childish, insecure and unattractive. It makes me question what was going on in your head that you couldn't come to terms with. Maybe the fact that you were actually becoming to attracted to the real ideal of what you wanted in a mate?? See gay men have the ability to create the perfect person for them and not realizing when that actual person is presented to them because he doesn't fit the physical we created in our head. When will we learn to actually look at the heart of a person and letting the contribute to the outward appearance.

Most of us don't realize that love done the right way is not what we have fictionalized for ourselves. God has put a person on this Earth especially made for us...He just wants us to open our eyes to the heart just has He does. When we do that we won't have to create personal realities, and thus having to assume something that never existed. When we decide to grow up and open up and let people in...the assumptions will end. Because in the end, as the old saying goes, when one assumes you only make an ass out of yourself...

#thinkaboutit

Your Name Makes You

You know I've come to realize that a lot of people don't know how detrimental their name can really be. It doesn't take winning a prize or becoming a millionaire for your name to get around faster than you do. And this can cause all different types of reactions from people upon your first encounter with them.

I say this because recently I had a conversation with friends and i just had to talk about this. Have you ever encountered someone that you didn't necessarily know upon first seeing them, but when a friend of yours mentioned their name all the attractiveness went out the window?? That's exactly what I am talking about. You've heard about every Tom, Dick and Harry that they've been with and they become an unattractive "hoe".

I am not that much older but the younger generation really pisses me off because when I am out I know about 80% of the shit that goes on in these little circles, and each and every one of them are combined and intertwined by atleast 2 of the people in them. Which is quite scary to me! This only lets me know that either most of either too immature to leave your friends dates alone, or too insecure to break the mold of what you see your friends doing. I have always been the one to date the person I found attractive and not my friends. That's for two reasons....1 I don't have to worry about them trying to talk to my partner and 2 I set my own accord to what I want. My friends aren't going to be the one that wakes up to my partner every morning so therefore they don't get to tell me what is attractive or not.

Sex is another thing that I find that a lot of you are using to intertwine this circles. You have these conversations about what happens, how good he was, how big his "meat" is and when you find that interesting, you secretly go after (and I find that you often succeed) the leftovers your friend, ex date, bestie as already experienced. Just down right NASTY if you ask me. Mind you the whole time, the boy who's getting all the ass, has a confidante (like myself) that they are telling all your business to. And thus, your reputation is built.

Now you are going around doing all this, and not even realizing that the decisions you are making in your personal relationships is gathering and gathering and making you look like something that you may not necessarily truly be because you are satisfying only the desires of your body and not your heart. Then you gain this maturity and are truly ready to settle down. But what happens is, you've been doing you for so long when it's time to settle down you, the ones that are truly worth your time don't want to be bothered because your name as been mentioned so often in the dirt around the city they don't even give you the time of day. Therefore you go thru all this time of being single trying to fix the reputation of false identity because of your past.

I just want some of you to really evaluate the decisions you make when starting to involve yourselves in these escapades of "relationships". Because what you think you are hiding, is actually presenting itself without your knowledge and can only damage your image faster than you think it will. Just mature and really evaluate the person you are about to date, or just have a one night (sometime multiple night)stand with. It only takes 1 second for you to become the "hoe" of the city.

#thinkaboutit

A Twilight Love

Earlier today, I was watching "Twilight" (which I think is one of the best love stories this generation has seen) and a particular part struck a nerve and gave me this amazing question that I asked to myself. In this part, Edward (the sexy, witty vampire) is explaining to Bella (his soon to be lover and human) that he can read every mind in the restaurant except for hers. And that's when it hit me!!! Is the one person that's meant for us supposed to be the one we can never figure out? Are we supposed to take our time in this life together on this journey to try and figure each other out and have the best time doing it?

How many older couples have you talked to and asked "how did you all stay together so long"?? I bet if you did, the answer would be something like "everytime I see them its like for the first time again" or "I'm still learning who is he today and that fascinates me". Relationships should be peaceful journeys on the discovery of what the other person brings to your life that makes it even more enjoyable. And not knowing everything about the person should make you even more intrigued and give you a yearning of continuously wanting more. Bella was never scared of Edward because the curiosity inside of her wouldn't allow her to be. And he couldn't understand why this human girl wasn't afraid of the most lethal creature on Earth. Yet the love was still pure, unconditional, and fearless.

I know soooo many people who are looking for that same love, but for some reason stop searching for thing that makes them intrigued. Its almost like a hunter and the prey. We set up these images in our mind of what we want and find attractive (prey) and go searching for it (hunter). Well in most circumstances, our prey is all around us because we want the attractive, money making (or so we thing), socialite hot topic who can't do anything for us. So we hunt, capture and feast (or date for sake of better wording) only to find that this particular prey is not what's gonna get us thru the winter. See once we've captured our prey we are no longer intrigued because its not what we originally want. We want the person who cares, respects, reciprocates what we give, and makes us feel that feeling of slight fear that grabs our attention. Have you ever thought to yourself that this person may just be the opposite of what your "prey" is?? I'll talk about this in the next post.

Back to looking at Bella and Edward, neither of them wouldve thought the day before they met that they would have this journey ahead of them. But when fate kicks in, you have no control over what is to take place. And you have to role with the punches. Edward tells Bella that her smell is like his own personal heroine. I wanna know what this fragrance was so I can go purchase it for a man, vampire, werewolf, leprechaun to tell me the same LOL!!! But seriously, that's a love that I know I'm searching for. A total opposite of myself that makes me laugh, gives me a reason to think, explore, question, defy. That person that I may not technically supposed to be with, but without them I couldn't imagine a life living; a person that no matter how many other minds I can read, theirs I cannot but I will spend the rest of my life or even the rest of theirs trying to figure them out. It takes an open mind and an open heart to find this needle in the haystack, but hey if those are open maybe he'll appear in my Biology class too.

Are You Insane???

You know I've learned something extremely interesting today. Insanity is the repetition of the same actions with the thought of a different outcome. In laymen's terms, you do the same thing over and over thinking next time it will be different. Thus, turning something that can be positive into a terrible cycle of headache and heartache.. So I have some questions for you all... Are you insane or sane?? Are you making the same mistake over and over and thinking "it'll be different this time"? Only to come to the conclusion what you thought would be is actually the exact opposite of what reality is.

Take an off again on again relationship for instance, how many of us have friends that continue breaking up with the same person over and over again and you don't understand why? I've found myself in this situation time and time again; and I find that I repeat myself more and more often. I feel that there are a lot of people stay in these relationships because of the fear of being alone. Or they "love" the person. When in actuality the main and clearest reason is that they are insane. They continue to go back and make the same decision thinking that "my relationship will be different this time". Well why in the hell would you think that when you're getting back with the same person from a week ago?? That person isn't gonna change because they know the cycle and they know you're only allowing them to be who they are. They don't have to change because you haven't changed your actions. You're only telling them that you've had enough of the bullshit that they've given you for this section of time and you need a break. So what do they do?? Go out have their fun and wait for the right moment when its convenient for them (and we've discussed "Convenience Store Love" before) to come back and start all over again. So I ask again are you sane or insane??

The person you're with is just as insane as you are because they're thinking "Lord why do we keep going thru this when I know I can get back?" They think this time he/she won't get tired of my actions and will be used to it and we won't have to keep going thru this. WRONG!!! The cycle isn't gonna change, the insanity isn't gonna end because you all are not communicating enough to get to the source of the issue. And after 3 or 4 times of the same shit, when does it hit you all that maybe the two of you may not just be that compatible. Stop fighting the inevitable because what is meant to be will be and what isn't won't.

There is a plan for all of us, and there are always signs that if something isn't working that maybe you aren't on the designed plan that was placed before you. Stop trying to make something out of nothing and destroying the precious but short time we have here. Happiness should be from within and effortless. Love in its purest is unconditional and without fear. If you fear you can't trust, communicate, or do certain things with the person that "loves" you then it isn't love. It's something else. Stop thinking that if you take the same exact steps everyday that the journey you're on will be any different. It won't!! You have to change your mindset and the decisions you make daily in order to be somewhere different. So again, sane or insane??

Convenience Store Love

I don’t know about you, but I have encountered so many relationships recently that are purely out of convenience. Now I know you’re wondering “Shade what the hell you talking bout??” Have you looked at someone’s relationship and thought to yourself that only one person seems to be the benefactor from the relationship?? That’s what I call a “convenience store” relationship. Come in when you need something, do what you need to do get to what you need and go back to your normal routine until something else runs out. Now these are the common products like tissue, bread or milk. I’m talking about sex, that pep talk, a hug, that arm piece when you all go out, or someone just to say “that’s my man”. But like I said I see so many of these and 9 times out of 10, the person on the short end of the stick either knows and pays it (cuz they “love” them) or can’t see the bright end of the tunnel. Well time for me to open your eyes, because apparently the people around you aren’t saying anything.

If you are in a relationship and your partner only seems to be communicating when the going is good or when they need that great pep talk that you seem to always give, but the minute you are upset or need what you give they disappear or seem to be oblivious to what you are going thru… HINT #1 of a “convenience store” relationship. If you always go out and seem to be the one paying for everything because “they just don’t have it”… HINT #2 of a “convenience store” relationship. If they can always make time to do what they want to do and leave you behind when its time to do something you love or just want to experience with them… HINT #3 of your “convenience store” relationship. That’s only 3 of the many things I can come up with to show you what I’m talking about and some that I am missing, but you should catch my drift. You aren’t that dumb! At least I hope not, but you have to open your eyes to what’s happening and realize that you are being taken advantage of. Yes, your kindness is no longer a weakness…you are the victim of a selfish partner. So now that you know, what are you gonna do about. I hope you’re going to realize that it has to stop and if you don’t start getting exactly what you are giving, someone needs to evacuate the premises.

I could never sit around and let someone take advantage of me because I’m “scared of lonely”. Hell you already by yourself you might as well do it without the title of a relationship. Convenience store relationships have so many other sides of them that are overlooked. The “shopper” (for cases and purpose) may be unhappy and doesn’t know how to leave the relationship, don’t care how you feel and because you allow they continue to do so, or lastly they’re hiding something!! The biggest things they are hiding are insecurities that they don’t have to show when they are around you, because you enable them to hide it with all of what you provide for them. Yes, I do feel you are at fault somewhat because not only does it take two, but because you are allowing yourself to sometimes see it and would rather allow it than change it or move on.

Now for the “shopper”, you all are just sad! You are so selfish that you don’t even care what happens half of the time. You are getting what you want and only giving what you can spend at the time. You don’t put in the effort to maintain the store. You don’t put in the overtime to make sure that the entrepreneur (and I call them that because they are in this relationship by themselves) has what they need to grow in the relationship. Stop shopping and become and partner in this business. Stop only looking in the mirror at what you get to benefit and start looking at what’s going on the rest of the store. You’re not gonna be happy until a robber comes in and takes the store from you and then you gonna have nowhere to shop. See crooks are always staking the store. They check your pattern of when you need items, when you shop for milk and bread… and when you leave they walk in and take it all. All I’m saying is that you aren’t being a great partner in this, and you need to remember what you wont do…another shopper or crook will.


It’s time for a lot of you that are in these “convenience store” relationships to grow up and turn these into “corporations”. Why not want the world and to have someone to share it with??