Have you ever realized that your heart is holding is onto something your brain wants to let go?? But what exactly are you holding on to?? I'll tell you....POSSIBILTY! 1. The possibility that the odds will change and you end up getting what you want. 2. The possibility that all you wished would come true.. And 3 the possibility of happily ever after!! But hell, this is life and almost nothing you hope, wish, or dream actually comes to fruition (unless you have magical potions in your cupboard). So why not just let go and live in reality??
In reality we realize that are things that we don't want to face. The most important part of realize and reality is the word REAL...when you become real with yourself and others about a situation, you find that everything lines up the way it supposed to. You cannot go thru life or relationships not being real. These falsehoods only make your vision cloudy, and your decisions are foolish. Being real in a situation takes an open eye and straightforward approach. Don't be subjective...but objective. Understand that the outcome that you are trying to reach is best for both parties not just yourself.
In any relationship, there are two or more people. How can you expect to get something when you aren't giving anything? Not only is that selfish, but you really are gonna end up with the short end of the stick. Therefore, you still end up unhappy. Reality is you don't wanna give up something because you haven't had to. You've either had people who let you do what you want without contest, or you're afraid of feeling good feelings that you teach yourself how not to give 100%. In my reality, you (if you are that person) need to be by yourself, because no one wants someone who's only for themself. Why even portray you want more when deep down inside, you want to lead people into the land of possibility!
On the other end, those of us who can't let go have to find it somewhere deep within and find reality. They are never gonna change, they only keep coming back because we let them. So how do you can't the string. You ultimately can't! Now I know that sounds a bit ludacris but think about it, if you could don't you think you would have already. There's nothing wrong with loving, caring, or thinking about a person; just understand that the reality is that most of the time they aren't used to or capable of handling what we have to give. Remember fear comes from unknown and when we are scared or don't know what to do with the emotions that hit us we flee. Its human nature. Don't get angry, don't seek revenge! Just take it day by day and allow nature to take its course; which most of the time requires dreams, ill feelings, yearning, desire, and quality time of the other person. All you have to do is continue being yourself and show them that you care. Give them the information, and let them decide what they want to do with. No, you aren't giving them power of you, you are just expressing your feelings and letting go!
In reality, letting go doesn't mean forgetting or having nothing to do with them, it means relinquishing built up feelings so that they don't send you into a state of emotionless or depression. Because in these states, you become that person and do it to other people....thus only landing yourself in the land of possibility.
I choose REALITY!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Relationship Immaturity.....
Maturity is defined as the state of being fully developed. Now what leads up to maturity is my question... Is it the experiences or things taught to you that make you mature?? Is it what your friends and family tell you what you should or shouldn't do?? What you read in books? Honestly its all these things, without it you would still be in the mindset of a 2 year old toddler.
I feel this goes for relationships as well, people need to be mature in handling situations of a relationship. There are a lot of people out here who wanna be in relationships that are relationally immature, and from that they either break a lot of hearts or continually get their heart broken. These "heartbreakers" I feel are the ones that are the most immature because they are dealing with a lot of fear. Fear is something that comes from a lot of unknown or uncertainty of the future. Now granted beng unsure of what's to come happens to us all, I guess I'm just more adventurous and am willing to step into the unknown and see what happens. "Heartbreakers" get to a certain point, reach the unknown and wanna run. Therefore leading to the second person...."the brokenhearted". These are the individuals (like myself) are open and communicative, show and tell everything that they feel and wear their hearts on their sleeve. These people are immature in taking the lessons learned and using them to their advantage or personal growth. Thus falling into the same thing over and over.
A major step in becoming mature enough for relationships is communication. Both parties learn so much from each other (good and bad) through speaking what's on your mind. People are afraid to say what's on their minds for two reasons....either they don't know how to convey they feelings which leads to misleading thoughts (one of my past posts) and strain on the relationship. The other reason would be they don't wanna stir up emotions whether good or bad. Neither of these approaches work in a relationship because one of the parties is unaware of the others feeling so then neither person can really give 100%. Say how you feel, come to a compromise and really do what is said because as the old cliche goes.... Actions speak louder than words.
I spoke about compromise in the first step, compromise is listening and coming to a common ground that will not only be good for both parties, but will help the relationship grow. In compromising both parties have to be willing to sacrifice something. Sacrificial decisions are often hard because you give up something that you have come accustomed to when by yourself, but when someone else is now in this with you that things has to become something secondary. It was brought to my attention by a friend that Carrie (Sex and the City) gave up smoking for Aiden. That was a sacrificial decision. Sacrificing does NOT mean losing yourself, but altering decisions you make for the betterment of your relationship. Sacrificing and compromising go hand in hand.
Being relationship mature doesn't come overnite and there will be many challenges along the way. But being relationship immaturity is draining and doesn't get anywhere. If you care for someone tell them....if you want to be with someone, be with them and take it day by day. Its a learning experience don't rush and be open to everything that you learn. Don't be afraid to love, love hard and love whole-heartedly, and let it take you to places you've never been. Grow and be mature and you will find love will return the favor.
I feel this goes for relationships as well, people need to be mature in handling situations of a relationship. There are a lot of people out here who wanna be in relationships that are relationally immature, and from that they either break a lot of hearts or continually get their heart broken. These "heartbreakers" I feel are the ones that are the most immature because they are dealing with a lot of fear. Fear is something that comes from a lot of unknown or uncertainty of the future. Now granted beng unsure of what's to come happens to us all, I guess I'm just more adventurous and am willing to step into the unknown and see what happens. "Heartbreakers" get to a certain point, reach the unknown and wanna run. Therefore leading to the second person...."the brokenhearted". These are the individuals (like myself) are open and communicative, show and tell everything that they feel and wear their hearts on their sleeve. These people are immature in taking the lessons learned and using them to their advantage or personal growth. Thus falling into the same thing over and over.
A major step in becoming mature enough for relationships is communication. Both parties learn so much from each other (good and bad) through speaking what's on your mind. People are afraid to say what's on their minds for two reasons....either they don't know how to convey they feelings which leads to misleading thoughts (one of my past posts) and strain on the relationship. The other reason would be they don't wanna stir up emotions whether good or bad. Neither of these approaches work in a relationship because one of the parties is unaware of the others feeling so then neither person can really give 100%. Say how you feel, come to a compromise and really do what is said because as the old cliche goes.... Actions speak louder than words.
I spoke about compromise in the first step, compromise is listening and coming to a common ground that will not only be good for both parties, but will help the relationship grow. In compromising both parties have to be willing to sacrifice something. Sacrificial decisions are often hard because you give up something that you have come accustomed to when by yourself, but when someone else is now in this with you that things has to become something secondary. It was brought to my attention by a friend that Carrie (Sex and the City) gave up smoking for Aiden. That was a sacrificial decision. Sacrificing does NOT mean losing yourself, but altering decisions you make for the betterment of your relationship. Sacrificing and compromising go hand in hand.
Being relationship mature doesn't come overnite and there will be many challenges along the way. But being relationship immaturity is draining and doesn't get anywhere. If you care for someone tell them....if you want to be with someone, be with them and take it day by day. Its a learning experience don't rush and be open to everything that you learn. Don't be afraid to love, love hard and love whole-heartedly, and let it take you to places you've never been. Grow and be mature and you will find love will return the favor.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Something Different
There was once a time when not even Prince Charming could get to my heart. "For what?" I would ask myself. "So he could turn around and rip it out of my chest and do whatever he wanted to do with it when he wanted to?" No ma'am! But something happened.... I had talks with friends and they always told me that I was too guarded and didn't open myself up to what I could have been missing. Well what i thought was missing, appeared and I ran with it. Or so I thought....
You know in doing things differently you have to change everything mentally, physically, and psychologically. There is now another person you have to think about as well. Almost like a child but different. You have to think about what they wanna do, what they eat or don't eat, what are their hobbies, whats their favorite color. Now in getting to know someone you learn these things pretty frequently, but what happens next when those are accomplished? What do you do to move forward? This place was once referred to me as being the "infatuation stage". Once that's over why is it that it seems that you don't know where to go? I entertained that thought in my "Crossroads" post, so i wont go back. But say one of you doesn't know how to capture the others interest in the way they want you to. Should the other person move on, or should they communicate what it is that they are looking for? I don't ever remember being able to read minds nor do I honestly believe there is one person that can. You have to communicate what it is you want out of anything in life, because people can only do but so much when it comes to providing you with the happiness you seek. You cannot expect people to control situations when there is no direction for them to go into because you are just waiting to see what happens.
Another thing, if someone expresses what they want from you don't run from it. If you can handle it, take it by the horns by all means necessary and do it. If you cant, communicate that and you both work out a compromise to make the situation work. Have you ever noticed how people 60 and older have been in relationship for 30, 40 and 50 years long? That's because they talk about everything from what they cant stand to what it is they love. Young people don't do that anymore. Instead at the slightest chance of an opening they run and then when they realize what they were running to is not what they wanted, they feel the need to run back to the one they ran from. Oh now you realize that just because at the point you weren't getting what you felt you needed you wanted to leave. Therefore, you think I was gonna sit around and wait for you to make up your mind? No ma'am
I have said it time and time again, never have someone fall for you when you don't intend on catching them, because when they get up their back will be to you! The old cliche saying "you don't know what you got til its gone" is so true. Stop chasing the ones that you want to fuck your body, and find the ones that will fuck your mind. I don't mean fuck it and leave like a one night stand, I mean one that will fuck your mind and stay until it becomes love making. That is someone that no matter what happens you have nothing but amazing thoughts about them. There should never be a time where you feel like you are being taken advantage of. At that point, you need to remove yourself. People only do to you what you allow them to. If you don't want him walking in and out of your life when he's ready, don't let him. Stop allowing him to get away with it the first time. I have a philosophy that a man when he's forgiven for something he has not business being forgiven for, he feels he got away with it, and will try his hand again. No ma'am, nip it in the bud the first time, so that he will think three times before even thinking about trying something that could cause him his happiness.
I have decided that I have done something different and in that process I have learned something different. Sometimes different doesn't work and you have to resort to being the old you. Go back to what you do that makes you comfortable. Changing for someone is never the answer, if they want you and want to be with you, they will accept you for EVERYTHING that you are different or indifferent.
Peace
You know in doing things differently you have to change everything mentally, physically, and psychologically. There is now another person you have to think about as well. Almost like a child but different. You have to think about what they wanna do, what they eat or don't eat, what are their hobbies, whats their favorite color. Now in getting to know someone you learn these things pretty frequently, but what happens next when those are accomplished? What do you do to move forward? This place was once referred to me as being the "infatuation stage". Once that's over why is it that it seems that you don't know where to go? I entertained that thought in my "Crossroads" post, so i wont go back. But say one of you doesn't know how to capture the others interest in the way they want you to. Should the other person move on, or should they communicate what it is that they are looking for? I don't ever remember being able to read minds nor do I honestly believe there is one person that can. You have to communicate what it is you want out of anything in life, because people can only do but so much when it comes to providing you with the happiness you seek. You cannot expect people to control situations when there is no direction for them to go into because you are just waiting to see what happens.
Another thing, if someone expresses what they want from you don't run from it. If you can handle it, take it by the horns by all means necessary and do it. If you cant, communicate that and you both work out a compromise to make the situation work. Have you ever noticed how people 60 and older have been in relationship for 30, 40 and 50 years long? That's because they talk about everything from what they cant stand to what it is they love. Young people don't do that anymore. Instead at the slightest chance of an opening they run and then when they realize what they were running to is not what they wanted, they feel the need to run back to the one they ran from. Oh now you realize that just because at the point you weren't getting what you felt you needed you wanted to leave. Therefore, you think I was gonna sit around and wait for you to make up your mind? No ma'am
I have said it time and time again, never have someone fall for you when you don't intend on catching them, because when they get up their back will be to you! The old cliche saying "you don't know what you got til its gone" is so true. Stop chasing the ones that you want to fuck your body, and find the ones that will fuck your mind. I don't mean fuck it and leave like a one night stand, I mean one that will fuck your mind and stay until it becomes love making. That is someone that no matter what happens you have nothing but amazing thoughts about them. There should never be a time where you feel like you are being taken advantage of. At that point, you need to remove yourself. People only do to you what you allow them to. If you don't want him walking in and out of your life when he's ready, don't let him. Stop allowing him to get away with it the first time. I have a philosophy that a man when he's forgiven for something he has not business being forgiven for, he feels he got away with it, and will try his hand again. No ma'am, nip it in the bud the first time, so that he will think three times before even thinking about trying something that could cause him his happiness.
I have decided that I have done something different and in that process I have learned something different. Sometimes different doesn't work and you have to resort to being the old you. Go back to what you do that makes you comfortable. Changing for someone is never the answer, if they want you and want to be with you, they will accept you for EVERYTHING that you are different or indifferent.
Peace
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Crossroads (unintentional neglect)
It has been brought to my attention that I have been neglecting something with even knowing that was what i was doing. Now this unintentional neglect can be a deafening silence in any relationship. Words arent spoken and feelings get pushed back because of some the feeling of being scared to hurt. In avoiding this feeling, you may inturn being hurting the other person more because they arent getting what they are giving and then feeling unappreciated and resentment start to set in. Lets start at the beginning....
In starting to get to know someone there are different stages in which two people go through. The first stage is the realization that there is an attraction. The two of you go thru small gestures of jokes passed, flirting, and the beginning of "small talk". The next stage is infatuation, where you wanna see, be near, spend time with, and get to know the small fun stuff about a person. Then the next step is the crossroads....here's where it tricky. At most crossroads there are three ways a person or two people can decide to go, but the two being on the same page is the most important part; and both must be willing to take the same road. But if one of the persons isnt where the other is theres a place of stagnant and stale air and most likely boredom that develops. I am on the end of where I dont know which road to take because I have been neglectful of the small things that are so so important. Initiative goes a long way, and I have learned the hard that you must not only tell a person how you feel, but you have to make sure that your actions are at the same level. You cannot expect a person to always do while you sit back and hope and wonder. That is my fall back, scared of hurt and rejection. I've said this before and I will say again.... Having a titanium wall up protecting your heart can be actually hurting the other person and you not even knowing then resulting in a relationship that could go amazing go wrong, dont be afraid to hurt because there are 1000 smiles after that will help you learn from that. Take a step in a different less traveled direction and you just may end up where you wanted to in the beginning. You must be open minded and have a open heart that so all communication lines are open. I sometimes feel people (majority men) have a hard time expressing how they feel because they dont wanna hurt someone's feelings or they dont know how they themselves are gonna feel about it. I think I have developed thick skin and can take alot, but i cannot and shouldnt have to deal with non-communication. As much as I joke about having #powers, I nor do I think anyone else has the power of reading minds. Therefore speak your mind and let others deal with the information they have just received.
Back to the crossroad....If you have been neglectful unintentionally, turn it around by taking a step in showing that you are sincerely apologetic and want to make up for the actions or lack thereof. Take it day by day because the hurt doesnt go away immediately but you both have to open enough to put it behind you and move forward. A relationship that comes from communication, openness, trust and alot of work will make it because the two of you will be on the same page consistently. You wont always be on the same page, no two people are but finding your way back can be hard but benenficial in life and relationship learnings.
I leave you by saying this, take your time and really think on both sides of the fence. Your side may or may not be the best and thats why its sometimes to go to another yard and see how things are planted, you may find that your plants need each other to coincide.
Peace
In starting to get to know someone there are different stages in which two people go through. The first stage is the realization that there is an attraction. The two of you go thru small gestures of jokes passed, flirting, and the beginning of "small talk". The next stage is infatuation, where you wanna see, be near, spend time with, and get to know the small fun stuff about a person. Then the next step is the crossroads....here's where it tricky. At most crossroads there are three ways a person or two people can decide to go, but the two being on the same page is the most important part; and both must be willing to take the same road. But if one of the persons isnt where the other is theres a place of stagnant and stale air and most likely boredom that develops. I am on the end of where I dont know which road to take because I have been neglectful of the small things that are so so important. Initiative goes a long way, and I have learned the hard that you must not only tell a person how you feel, but you have to make sure that your actions are at the same level. You cannot expect a person to always do while you sit back and hope and wonder. That is my fall back, scared of hurt and rejection. I've said this before and I will say again.... Having a titanium wall up protecting your heart can be actually hurting the other person and you not even knowing then resulting in a relationship that could go amazing go wrong, dont be afraid to hurt because there are 1000 smiles after that will help you learn from that. Take a step in a different less traveled direction and you just may end up where you wanted to in the beginning. You must be open minded and have a open heart that so all communication lines are open. I sometimes feel people (majority men) have a hard time expressing how they feel because they dont wanna hurt someone's feelings or they dont know how they themselves are gonna feel about it. I think I have developed thick skin and can take alot, but i cannot and shouldnt have to deal with non-communication. As much as I joke about having #powers, I nor do I think anyone else has the power of reading minds. Therefore speak your mind and let others deal with the information they have just received.
Back to the crossroad....If you have been neglectful unintentionally, turn it around by taking a step in showing that you are sincerely apologetic and want to make up for the actions or lack thereof. Take it day by day because the hurt doesnt go away immediately but you both have to open enough to put it behind you and move forward. A relationship that comes from communication, openness, trust and alot of work will make it because the two of you will be on the same page consistently. You wont always be on the same page, no two people are but finding your way back can be hard but benenficial in life and relationship learnings.
I leave you by saying this, take your time and really think on both sides of the fence. Your side may or may not be the best and thats why its sometimes to go to another yard and see how things are planted, you may find that your plants need each other to coincide.
Peace
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
"When the Time is Right"
Have you ever felt that any relationship you've encountered doesnt work out?? I dont just mean sexual or dating..I'm talking about ALL relationships....
I wanna dedicate this post to how I feel about that situation. There comes a time in your life when a little part of feels like you just dont wanna be bothered. This is more than a gut feeling, this is a higher being telling you "the timing isn't right"! And Lord this being is correct. You cannot start a new endeavor, relationship, friendship or hobby if you aren't completely done with another. Instant gratification does NOT lead to long term happiness. Happiness is something that takes steps and is a process that has to be followed. Instant gratification doesn't lead to fulfillment in life. Instant gratification doesn't lead to prosperity. Instant gratification only leads to heartache, drama, and loss of lack of self respect.
Self respect is something that somehow over the years gone down the drain. You cannot love the next person if you cant look in the mirror and see greatness in yourself. Love has to be exuded from within in order for the outside world to see. Have you ever known someone with low self confidence to have a happy and prosperous relationship whether love or friendship? Most of you said NO, because no one wants to be around someone who doesnt see themselves fit to be around other people. No one wants to be around a "party pooper". Start looking at yourself as a treasure that someone is ready to open and enjoy the perks. Monetary perks arent always the best if you dont have someone to share them with.
The steps to happiness are many and dont come easy, and the skills that are needed to proceed to the next step are open mindedness, trust, communication and just an open ear and heart to something new. Stop treating all new relationships like past ones. This is a new experience, so treat it as such. Have fun and let whatever may come come... but first be ready for it! In being ready you have to make sure that all thing that make you happy are in order. Career, home, self happiness, confidence, goals and aspirations, and the willingness to love. If these things arent together...."the time isn't right". Your inner being will definitely let you know when the time is right. You will always be happy, things will be less stressful and you will have a sense of everything falling into place. And when those stars are aligned, that higher power will say "this time is right and now here is our reward". Love is a reward for you doing what you are supposed to do for yourself first, and is a great reward when can be fully enjoyed.
So in closing my thoughts on timing are.... take your time and stop looking for love and let it reveal itself, when you are supposed to experience all that love has to offer it will be a great reward, get yourself together before trying to give all to the next person, and time tells all....the higher being will know "When the Time is Right"
I wanna dedicate this post to how I feel about that situation. There comes a time in your life when a little part of feels like you just dont wanna be bothered. This is more than a gut feeling, this is a higher being telling you "the timing isn't right"! And Lord this being is correct. You cannot start a new endeavor, relationship, friendship or hobby if you aren't completely done with another. Instant gratification does NOT lead to long term happiness. Happiness is something that takes steps and is a process that has to be followed. Instant gratification doesn't lead to fulfillment in life. Instant gratification doesn't lead to prosperity. Instant gratification only leads to heartache, drama, and loss of lack of self respect.
Self respect is something that somehow over the years gone down the drain. You cannot love the next person if you cant look in the mirror and see greatness in yourself. Love has to be exuded from within in order for the outside world to see. Have you ever known someone with low self confidence to have a happy and prosperous relationship whether love or friendship? Most of you said NO, because no one wants to be around someone who doesnt see themselves fit to be around other people. No one wants to be around a "party pooper". Start looking at yourself as a treasure that someone is ready to open and enjoy the perks. Monetary perks arent always the best if you dont have someone to share them with.
The steps to happiness are many and dont come easy, and the skills that are needed to proceed to the next step are open mindedness, trust, communication and just an open ear and heart to something new. Stop treating all new relationships like past ones. This is a new experience, so treat it as such. Have fun and let whatever may come come... but first be ready for it! In being ready you have to make sure that all thing that make you happy are in order. Career, home, self happiness, confidence, goals and aspirations, and the willingness to love. If these things arent together...."the time isn't right". Your inner being will definitely let you know when the time is right. You will always be happy, things will be less stressful and you will have a sense of everything falling into place. And when those stars are aligned, that higher power will say "this time is right and now here is our reward". Love is a reward for you doing what you are supposed to do for yourself first, and is a great reward when can be fully enjoyed.
So in closing my thoughts on timing are.... take your time and stop looking for love and let it reveal itself, when you are supposed to experience all that love has to offer it will be a great reward, get yourself together before trying to give all to the next person, and time tells all....the higher being will know "When the Time is Right"
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
LOVE2010
It seems to me like 2010 is the year for love. 2009...not so much! When that clock struck 12, I told my friends that I would have someone to call my own by my birthday; but I wasn't going to go look for it, it would have to present itself to me just like it would've last year. Coming out of a 4 year relationship I have found that I can see bullshit from a mile away; and not that I was running from love or a relationship, i just knew what I didn't want and stay out of its way.
There's an old saying that when you stop looking for something it appears right in front of you. Thats why I always tell people stop going out looking for a relationship, a man or woman, or love. Let it come to you! It will definitely happen when you're ready and you least expect it. It will also come in the form of something that you normally wouldn't expect it to come from. It will be from a happy place, just a place you wouldn't normally "look". I think that's what makes love so special. It's uninhibited, true, genuine, carefree, and stress is nowhere to be found.
But of course there is the flip side. Love doesnt come without the bad. But both parties have to be willing to strongly work towards the same goal. Get to know each other before falling in love, and there will be less work and more fun. In getting to know the other you'll find that there are things that irritate the hell out of you, but if this party gives you their all and you do the same you'll find that those bad things aren't really that important. Don't judge based on past experiences either. Stop saying "my ex did this so I'm scared", or "all boys are the same"! They are NOT! They may not be worth a damn.... lol (just kidding), but you cant compare two alike.
It again takes two, so you have to work for it as well. You have to be open and honest and give yourself more than you ever have. It will definitely feel uncomfortable at first, but like any habit continuously do it and it becomes more natural. This way he sees all of you and he can decide what he wants to do from there and vice versa. As grown adults, especially in the gay community, we need to step up and grow up and stop putting on the facades of what reality wants us to be. I never believe that two stereotypical gay men will last because they arent being themselves. Also, stop prejudging each other on how people act. I love to be the center of attention, so I may act one way out in public but may be the exact opposite in the privacy of my home with you (my spouse, date, bf, etc.). So just because I may vogue, walk runway, and snap my finger doesn't mean I want you to climb my back.
The love process is a long and sometimes thought provoking process but that definitely makes it all the while. Go in it for the long haul and the reward will be great! Let's make Love2010 the new motto...until next time
PEACE
There's an old saying that when you stop looking for something it appears right in front of you. Thats why I always tell people stop going out looking for a relationship, a man or woman, or love. Let it come to you! It will definitely happen when you're ready and you least expect it. It will also come in the form of something that you normally wouldn't expect it to come from. It will be from a happy place, just a place you wouldn't normally "look". I think that's what makes love so special. It's uninhibited, true, genuine, carefree, and stress is nowhere to be found.
But of course there is the flip side. Love doesnt come without the bad. But both parties have to be willing to strongly work towards the same goal. Get to know each other before falling in love, and there will be less work and more fun. In getting to know the other you'll find that there are things that irritate the hell out of you, but if this party gives you their all and you do the same you'll find that those bad things aren't really that important. Don't judge based on past experiences either. Stop saying "my ex did this so I'm scared", or "all boys are the same"! They are NOT! They may not be worth a damn.... lol (just kidding), but you cant compare two alike.
It again takes two, so you have to work for it as well. You have to be open and honest and give yourself more than you ever have. It will definitely feel uncomfortable at first, but like any habit continuously do it and it becomes more natural. This way he sees all of you and he can decide what he wants to do from there and vice versa. As grown adults, especially in the gay community, we need to step up and grow up and stop putting on the facades of what reality wants us to be. I never believe that two stereotypical gay men will last because they arent being themselves. Also, stop prejudging each other on how people act. I love to be the center of attention, so I may act one way out in public but may be the exact opposite in the privacy of my home with you (my spouse, date, bf, etc.). So just because I may vogue, walk runway, and snap my finger doesn't mean I want you to climb my back.
The love process is a long and sometimes thought provoking process but that definitely makes it all the while. Go in it for the long haul and the reward will be great! Let's make Love2010 the new motto...until next time
PEACE
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Mistaken Thoughts
Have you ever been into someone so much you have mistaken thoughts?? Mistaken thoughts are those thoughts that something is wrong. Often times these thoughts come from wanting to talk to someone so bad and when you dont, you think they are upset or over you. Most of the time its just your yearning for them thats taking over the good thoughts. Stop right there! Just let it be... dont press an issue that isnt really there because then it causes problems. Especially if there is no title...you arent necessarily entitled to speak to them when YOU want. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is not just a cliche thought, but is something that is very true. Just look at the situation...again you need to miss them so you dont get over them from seeing them so much. Fight through that yearning and when you get to talk to, see, or touch that person it will be sooooo much better and you'll find that those moments are endless. Dont take those feelings as fear as something is wrong...Mistaken Thoughts! Mistaken thoughts can also be thoughts in which you arent supposed to feel the way you do about someone. This can have many examples, but the one that sticks out in my mind is being attracted to someone who your technically forbidden to feel that way for i.e. your friend's "date" or "crush". I have to say that their are couple of my friends that are either in relationship or have a crush on someone and I want them. Mistake thoughts run through my head like "he should like me" or "thats doin shows you arent even supposed to be with talking to him". I shouldn't feel that way I should be happy, but guess what... that's LIFE. Sometimes you have to look from the outside perspective and you'll realize somethings aren't meant to be for a reason. A reason you will realize when the time is right. Dont try to force something that shouldn't be. You cant put to positive ends of a magnet together, so dont try to put to negative personalities togehter. It doesn't work out!!
So basically to sum this up, let those Mistaken Thoughts go and dont let them cloud your mind, and cause issues that dont even need to be. Be open minded and let things be how they are supposed to be.
Peace
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